How to Change Your Love Life TODAY!

Every morning when you wake up, I want you to say TODAY’S THE DAY I will do something about my love life.

Today’s the day I will go to the mall and buy a new shirt and pants for meeting Miss Perfect.

Today’s the day I will smile at all women I meet.

Today’s the day I will go to Barnes and Noble and buy “How to Speak to Girls.”

Today’s the day because the future is built on TODAY. The past is gone and tomorrow isn’t born yet. Today is right in your hands. Today’s the day you will finally make that move.

Every day in March say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in April say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in May say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in June say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in July say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in Audust say TODAY’S THE DAY.

On the Forth of July, when you are near a group of girls say to yourself TODAY’S THE DAY I will start a conversation. Suddenly you will feel a power from inside and it will be stronger than ever before. You will say “I can. I can do it. I feel it. I RULE!”

You see your target. You walk over to her. You say, “What’s your name?” You offer to get her some punch. You feel the power and you make your verbal moves. Soon you can’t believe what you are hearing:

“It’s 999-9999, and that’s Patti with an ‘i’.”

Then a little voice inside tells you “TODAY WAS THE DAY.”

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The Power of Smiling – try it!

What happened to me today just reinforced the first rule of being sociable: Smiling.

I had to give out leaflets today to help out with some advertising. I wasn’t too bothered about it, and I didn’t expect anything to happen from it. However, this is where my natural charm kicked in.

I wonder, have you noticed, that when someone smiles at you in a friendly way, you smile back automatically? It’s something built in all of us.

And today, while I was handing out the leaflets, I smiled at everyone I saw. Not a big-toothed grin, a simple, friendly smile. And sure enough, 98% of them SMILED BACK.

No matter how sour or grumpy they looked, I got a smile out of most of them. Men, women, children, and the elderly. I got smiles.

When someone smiles at you in a friendly way, you smile back automatically.
Of course there was that other 2%, but you know right away if they don’t respond civilly to an innocent smile, they’re probably too stuck-up and weird anyway.

What is my point here?

Simple. Next time friendly way, or a club, or just walking down the street, if you see a woman that catches your fancy, smile. Simple as that.

And you have an instant ice-breaker when she smiles back.

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The Step-by-Step Guide to the Perfect Approach

Imagine you are taking a walk in the city.

The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day. Or let’s say that it could be a beautiful day if you wouldn’t see so many beautiful women. It’s pure torture. You see one stunning girl after another and they all walk around in short dresses.

You would give everything to talk to one of these girls, to make her smile, and to take her out on a date.

But you are too afraid.

You can’t even remember the last time you approached a woman. Just the idea of approaching a woman makes you want to throw up. You don’t know how to stand, what to say, or when to ask her for her number. If you only knew these things, you would be way more confident.

Don’t you think it’s time to learn the steps of the perfect approach?

1. Overcome Approach Anxiety

Yes, you can approach thousands of women and desensitize yourself to the experience of talking to beautiful women. That can work. But there’s an easier way and it starts in your mind.

Most men are so afraid of approaching women that their mind produces one horror scenario after another. As a result, approaching women becomes a burden instead of an exciting experience.

What’s the solution? Change your focus. Instead of focusing on all the negative things that could happen, you focus on achieving your goals. Imagine how it would feel to kiss a beautiful woman at the end of the date. If you leave your house with this image in mind, you can’t lose.

2. Have Fun When You Go Out

What do most guys do when they go out to approach women?

They are determined to get a few numbers and they try to look as cool as possible. As a result, they look aggressive and way too serious.

That’s not how you get girls. Girls want to date fun guys who love to have a good time. They want a playful adventurer. And in order to become this fun and playful man, you need to realize that approaching gorgeous women is not different than approaching any other person.

3. Don’t Hesitate

Men who hesitate masturbate.

It makes me cringe when I go to a bar and I see a bunch of guys who are staring at a girl without doing anything. The only thing you have to do in such a situation is to walk up to her and say hi.

Not hesitating is the best way to set yourself apart from all the other men who stand there and don’t take action.

4. Be Friendly and Charming

Unfortunately, a lot of guys take the advice to be alpha a bit too far. They confuse being a strong leader with looking like an Uruk-hai from The Lord of The Rings. Sorry, but looking like a mass murderer is not a good idea, at least not when you want to get dates with beautiful women.

Instead of being as alpha as possible, you should test how it is to be as friendly as possible.

Think about it. The moment you approach a woman she doesn’t know whether you are a genuine man or a rapist. You are a complete stranger and being friendly helps her to become comfortable around you.

5. Give Her a Compliment

There are a lot of misconceptions about giving women compliments. And yes, while giving compliments in a needy way can backfire, giving them with confidence can be extremely attractive.

The problem that a lot of guys who avoid giving compliments have is that the women they talk to don’t know what they actually want. When you give her a compliment she knows what you want. This can save you a lot of time.

6. Connect With Her

Every man who wants to approach women should also know how to connect with them. Women want to feel something before they allow a man to seduce them and connection is what triggers these feelings.

But don’t worry. It’s not that hard to connect with women. It’s a simple three-step process.

Share your hobbies and passion with her.
Ask her about her hobbies and passion.
Refer her hobbies and passion to yourself.
That’s how you connect with women.

7. Have a Natural Conversation

A natural conversation flows. There are no uncomfortable pauses and you don’t just switch the topic without a reason.

Keep these things in mind when you talk to women. Don’t just talk about a topic because you want to talk about it and don’t just ask for her number because you promised yourself to get it in less than five minutes.

Let the conversation flow.

8. Read Her Signs

Women are not evil. They want you to succeed. In case you’ve watched the movie Hitch, you know that no woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today”.

When a woman likes you, she will let you know.

The only problem is that a lot of men are blind to the signals of women. Most men don’t even notice when a woman plays with her hair or bites her lips. I hope you are one of the few men who are aware of these signals.

9. Don’t Ask for Her Number

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is to ask for a girl’s number. Okay, asking is better than walking away with no phone number, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a more effective technique.

Don’t ask for her number. Demand her number.

Women are somehow conditioned to say no when a guy asks them for their number. She doesn’t feel the same pressure when you tell her to put her number into your phone. Say it with confidence and she will do it.

10. Enjoy Your First Date

Just keep your smartphone in your pocket and enjoy your date.

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How to Kiss a Girl and Never Get Rejected.

You’re about to learn, hands down, the best way to successfully get a girl to kiss you without fear of rejection. In the advanced version of this technique, you can even get the girl you’re talking to to lean in to kiss you!

So if you’ve ever been afraid of getting rejected going for a kiss OR you’ve gotten “the cheek” you know why having a rock-solid technique to moving in for the kiss is 100% crucial.

Going in for the kiss is probably the worst place to face rejection in an interaction with a girl because:

You’ve invested a lot of TIME by this point in the interaction, and there simply isn’t enough time in your night to get this far and then hit a brick wall and have to move on.
Screwing up this part of the interaction can ruin all chances of moving on from here to seduction.
Most guys don’t have the chance to learn how to perfect going for a kiss because it happens so infrequently!

Even on a good night, most guys will typically find one girl they hit it off with at the bar where a kiss is probably even a possibility.

So normally, you’d have to face a lot of these rejections one by one to learn the best way to successfully go in for a kiss.

But luckily, I’ve already gone through all those failures for you (until I discovered this killer technique), and can present the best way to avoid failure and shortcut right to success.

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Sound good?

The Kiss Technique makes it so that when you’re speaking to a woman, you can intentionally give off subconscious triggers that will make her think about kissing you!

Pretty powerful stuff…

If You Use This Technique, Suddenly Making a Woman Want to Kiss You Will Be Something You Have Control Over

If you decide to “wing it” in the stage like most guys, however, you’re going to run into problems…

First, you won’t know how physically receptive she is to kissing you. A tried and true rule to go by is this:

Your hesitation = Her reservation

So the more you hesitate, the worse your chances get, because she starts to build up all sorts of red flags and reservations.

When you go to lean in for the kiss and you don’t do it the right way at the right time, you’ll come off as needy (like you don’t have a lot of options with women) because if you did have a lot of options, you wouldn’t be worrying about the kiss with this girl.

So how do we show that you are absolutely NOT needy (even if you kind of feel like you are) and provide a way so that you will not fear rejection because you will know for sure ahead of time that she is wanting to kiss you?

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We use what’s called The Kiss Technique.

This involves combining two psychological concepts into a perfect recipe for mastering the kiss.

The First Concept Is Called Triangular Gazing

This will happen while you have built rapport and are looking to move into seduction. It involves looking from one eye to another, then looking at her mouth.

When you start looking at her mouth, you will subconsciously start to think about kissing her, because this action is already anchored to the thought of kissing someone.

Even if you look at a woman you’re not attracted to and look at her mouth, you can start to think about kissing her, and you will become MORE attracted to her.

The good news is…the same happens for women.

The even BETTER news is…you can lead her to subconsciously start to do this and feel more attracted. How?

By using the second half of the recipe…another psychological concept called Mirroring.

Whenever we are in conversation with someone, we will mirror the leader of the conversation in an attempt to build subconscious rapport with them.

When you perfectly combine triangular gazing and mirroring, you have a combination that will…

Make Her Subconsciously Think About Kissing You

After talking with her in rapport, start to look at her mouth. At first, only for 2 seconds, then look back to her eyes. Switch between her left and right eye, then back to her mouth for a few seconds longer.

Continue to go from left to right eye and back to her mouth for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, then 5 seconds.

Eventually, you want to be mostly looking at her mouth.

When she begins to look at your mouth as well, you know for sure that she’s ready to kiss you.

Voila! The Kiss Technique takes all of the guess work out of “making a move”.

You will now know with confidence when she wants to kiss you, and get to be the fully assertive but perceptive man that women find irresistibly sexy.

She will feel like you know exactly how to treat a woman and feel safe and confident moving on with you.

Now, if you want to take this technique to the next level and make it so that girls will be leaning in to you and basically begging you to kiss them, you only have to know one magical sentence.

Learn more about The Kiss Technique and the bizarre, magical sentence that activates her “sexual triggers” and makes her lean and practically beg you for the kiss.

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How to Use Body Language and Nonverbal Communication to Attract Women !!

I spent several years studying body language and nonverbal communication. Reading every book, every article, every thing that I could find in a quest to unlock the hidden meanings in our movements and gestures… essentially to be able to read someone else’s mind simply by observing their body movements. It’s quite a fascinating area… and I still dabble in it from time to time.

The only problem with reading the bodies of others, or using your own to project the suave, charismatic image you’d like, is that most of these “little signs” you read about are useless. Interesting, but useless.

You simply can’t look at any one particular body cue, or even a few of them, and conclude, with any level of certainty, what another might be thinking or is going to do. Body gestures and movements always have to be viewed in groups, and placed in context… to be of any use at all.

And viewing groups of movements and attempting to interpret them in relation to the context is just way too much info for a normal person to cognitively process during the course of his or her daily interactions. After all, how are you going to be charming, and witty, and intelligent, if you’re constantly obsessing over another’s every little movement in an attempt to figure out what they might be thinking?

“Let’s see, she’s scratching her nose, adjusting her skirt, crossing, no uncrossing her legs… Oh my God!”

Now if you had the other on tape, and could watch his or her movements over and over again, then you might be able to make some reasonable guesses as to what they may be thinking. But again – pretty much useless in everyday life.

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Nevertheless, there are a few BIG cues that mean BIG things — usually.

I’m going to go over six of the biggest and give you a few suggestions on how to use your body in order to project an image of charm and Juanism. These are very simple things that you can do to increase the probability that others, especially cute girls, will come to like you. Simple movements, essentially, that will draw women to you like a magnet.

So, without further ado, here are The Six Don Juan Commandments of Body Language.

Thou Shalt Master the Smile

The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful of the body language commandments.

Smiling conveys, both instantly and clearly, many wonderful things about yourself. Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive attitude, a good mood, and it gives the impression that you’re someone who is, most likely, fun to be with. It’s also very difficult to ignore. (A Don Juan is never ignored.)

Smiling also conveys to women one other very important thing. Smiling tells her that you’re probably not dangerous.

Always remember, you’re usually bigger and stronger than the woman you’re talking to. So one thing that’s always going to be running through the back of her mind when she’s first getting to know you is: “Is this guy dangerous, violent, or crazy? Would I feel comfortable being alone with this guy? Is he going to hurt me?”

Smiling helps to alleviate this fear. And by simply alleviating this one fear of hers, you automatically increase the probability of her accepting your invitations.

Thou Shalt Be Open and Inviting

This simply means being “open” and “direct” with your body.

The most obvious “closed” body posture is when you have your arms crossed in front of you… effectively providing a barrier to keep other people away and reduce the intimacy in the situation.

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Being “closed” also includes such things as holding objects, maybe a drink or even just your hands, between yourself and the person you’re talking to… again providing a barrier to keep others away. Or an indirect body orientation, such as pointing your shoulders, body, or head in another direction, effectively directing your attention away from the other and toward something else.

Closed body postures are very common because they serve to reduce the level of perceived intimacy in a situation.

When you’re open, directly facing the other with your hands to the side, and possibly your palms facing up and towards the other, you’re exposing or presenting yourself to them. Presenting yourself to others inherently includes the possibility of getting rejected. Since people don’t like rejection, they will often “play it safe” by closing themselves up and, essentially, rejecting the other, with their body language, first — before the other has a chance to reject them.

While this may reduce your risk in the situation, it’s unlikely to be of much assistance in conveying the suave, charismatic image you’d like to portray. To use your body in an “attractive” fashion, and to attract women, you must learn to keep it open.

Thou Shalt Gaze Into the Eyes

Obvious, powerful, and arousing, eye contact is one of the most potent “weapons” in your arsenal.

Direct eye contact shows self-confidence (notice how those with low self-esteem usually avoid direct eye contact). It shows that you’re very interested in her and what she may have to say. It’s hard to ignore. It boosts physiological arousal — both yours and hers — making you seem “un-boring.” And, assuming you’re talking to a girl you’re interested in, it should make you more attractive as your pupils dilate.

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Don’t overdo it though. Too much direct eye contact will make her uncomfortable, and she might wind up thinking you’re a weirdo.

Thou Shalt Nod the Head

Nodding can be a tough one to master. It’s one I constantly have to remind myself to do… as I’m not a natural nodder. But nodding is a very powerful reinforcer. You can literally strengthen desirable behavior by nodding your head, and weaken undesirable behavior by “withholding the nod.”

For example, if the conversation is going in a direction that you like, you can nod your head slightly, and often, to make sure it continues in that direction. If the conversation starts to veer in the wrong direction, you can withdraw your attention, by not nodding your head, and stop it dead in its tracks. Then use your conversational skills to point it in another more desirable direction.

She will love you for nodding. She will literally “perk up” and become more enthusiastic when you nod in response to what she has to say.

Nodding tells her that she is interesting, that what she is saying is interesting, that she has your undivided attention, and that you’re someone who knows how to focus his attention on something other than himself.

Try a simple experiment. Listen to someone without nodding and watch how they sputter along quietly and perhaps uncomfortably. Then begin nodding your head while listening to them and observe how they perk up and become more enthusiastic. The power of “the nod” will amaze you.

“Learn to nod, and the women will nod with you. Forget to nod, and you nod alone.” (getting a little poetic here)

Thou Shalt Get a Little Closer

This refers to standing or sitting a little bit closer. Getting a little closer reduces both the real and psychological distance between the two of you, helping to create a sense of intimacy or “we-ness.” (In a group or crowd, if you can create the perception that you and she are “we,” you’re halfway home, buddy.)

By getting a little closer, you’re telling her that you’re more interested in her, and what she has to say, than in whatever else is going on around you. By giving her your undivided attention, she is almost forced to give you her undivided attention. Getting a little closer is also obvious (it can’t be ignored) and helps to boost her arousal level slightly so you don’t seem quite so ordinary.

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The opposite is also true. Keeping your distance from someone indicates that you’re not really interested in them and would rather be someplace else.

Thou Shalt Learn to Touch

Touching, if done appropriately, has an immediate, almost magical effect on another person. Equaled in power only by the smile and, perhaps, eye contact, you must master the art of touching in order to have any hope of becoming the successful and suave lady’s man you’ve always wanted to be.

In our modern society, we have become a somewhat cold, impersonal, and standoffish people, especially in the larger cities. Most people in our society are literally “starving” for body contact… “starving” for touch. So starved, in fact, that the occasional brief, friendly, touch of another — especially another of the opposite sex — can send chills up and down the spine.

The key word here, of course, is appropriate. Some women will react very negatively if you touch them too soon or too much. Like making your first move, or going in for that first kiss, your first touch has to be done at the appropriate time in an appropriate way — or you may wind up actually doing more harm than good. Always pay attention to the situation and the mood. Never force something if the situation or mood isn’t right.

You judge the effectiveness of your touch, and how good you are at reading the situation, by how she reacts to it. If she seems to lean into your touch or perk up, you know you’ve “succeeded” in your touch. If she seems to “tense up” or pull away, this tells you that you’ve failed to touch appropriately and have a little more work to do.

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So there they are. The Six Don Juan Commandments of Body Language. Easy. Simple. Mastering the above techniques will make you so charming, so irresistible, so Don Juanish, that women will literally fight over you, tear at your clothes, and attack you on the street.

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Here are the Most Powerful Girl-Gettin’ Technique of All Time !!

I’m browsing through a Pier 1 Imports store, checking out the many cool and unique items.

I’m feeling good — very good, in fact. It’s hot, the sun is shining, and there’s some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)

I’m bouncing through the store, a big smile on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the “bachelor pad.”

I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I’ve ever seen. She’s been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, she startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.

I smile to myself.

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Then I just laugh.

I knew this one was going to be easy. My “work” was already done.

She hadn’t just noticed me, she had seen me HAPPY. She had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smile on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, almost like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming she wasn’t married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was pretty much assured.

I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later she comes over to see if I need any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and we both went on our merry little ways… just a little bit happier than we were before.

It really doesn’t get any easier.

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It really doesn’t have to be all that hard.

At this site we talk about a lot of cool and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. And these are cool, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.

But we often ignore and overlook some of the most basic “techniques.” And that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman’s heart, mind, and imagination — and that’s simply the power of happiness.

Happiness attracts!

Happiness will get you women!

And nothing is easier or more powerful!

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NO, not even the “confidence” that we so frequently discuss.

A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of course, that being said, happiness and confidence almost always go together. Happy guys are generally pretty confident guys, and confident guys are generally pretty happy guys.

There’s not a perfect correlation, but they’re related enough that it’s reasonable to assume that if we can increase our level of happiness, then we’d most likely also increase our level of confidence. And vice versa.

So rather than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have quite a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.

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You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are just getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, rarely excited. So when they meet someone who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they’re intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.

They want to try to get some of that happiness for themselves!

And this is especially true for women.

Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don’t think logically like you and me. They like, want, NEED to feel things. So if you can capture a woman’s emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude “happiness” wherever you go, she’ll do just about anything to get you, and just about anything to keep you.

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So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I’m Doing Great! You are going to be her happiness drug, her “fix.” And friends, when you are not around, she’s going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!

You are NOT going to be like everyone else… one of the many, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. You are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your “soul mate” to make your life wonderful and complete…

…like 98% of the people in this world!!

You are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. You are going to be what they are looking for. You are going to be a Don Juan.

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I can hear some of you: “I understand what you’re saying, and you’re right. But I’m not really all that happy. I’m lonely. My life is dull. I’m tired of watching television. I’m tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I’d be happy. Heck, that’s why I came to this site.”

And you’re right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, especially one that really rocks your world. Girls is good stuff to have around, no doubt about it.

And, by the way, that’s one of the reasons for the “feast or famine” dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.

It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you’re either surrounded by women who are all shamelessly throwing themselves at you… or you’re surrounded by women who are all doing their best to completely ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn’t really seem to be much of a middle ground.

You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.

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Of course one of the primary reasons for this is the “happiness” factor. When you’re seeing that special girl that really gets your griddle sizzlin, you’re happy, much happier than your usual self… and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls want to find out more, and other girls want to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.

At this point, it’s easy. You don’t even really have to try. You’re on the verge of Don Juanism… at least temporarily.

On the other hand, when you’re lonely, depressed, bored, desperate… you “show it” — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls want nothing to do with you. They’ve got enough unhappiness and misery of their own. They don’t need to be worrying about you as well.

So yes I can understand you wanting to find someone special in order to be happy. That is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.

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If you’re looking for someone else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you “complete”, then you’re doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you’re doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it’s still wrong.

So wrong.

Just wrong.

Don Juans don’t pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. And then “pick and choose” amongst all the incredible women who are now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the goal.

This is the Holy Grail of dating.

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“Just Be Yourself” Is Bad Advice and Here’s Why !!

Every day I’m emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read hundreds of new posts in the SoSuave Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all.

The basic. The advanced. The good. The bad. And the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it’s in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old hs freshman… is JUST BE YOURSELF.

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If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it’s just the opposite. “Just Be Yourself” is the one tip I’ll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on – because I’m a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.

Be Very Careful Whose Advice You Follow

JBY is the advice you’re most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

It doesn’t matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married — it’s the stock relationship answer when one doesn’t know or can’t think of anything else to say… but doesn’t want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They’ll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it’s the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.

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But they have to say something, right? And besides, they’ve been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority… as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug!

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you’ve been “just being yourself” your entire life and it’s pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven’t even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they’ll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — “You just have to be patient and eventually you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.”

Oh, and don’t forget, “And if it doesn’t work out between you and her, than it wasn’t meant to be.”

Be yourself – patience – faith. That’s about the extent of the advice you’re likely to receive.

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I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who’s been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months… and never gets a second date? A person who’s lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who’s obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he’s been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

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This would be useful advice!

But then we’d run into another problem.

A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he’s always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV… because, after all, he’s the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV. He’s just being himself!

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it’s certainly not about pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s about becoming the person that you want to be. It’s about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It’s about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I’ve gotten emails from people telling me how the information at has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand “the game” better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives… their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even think the whole idea of “learning” how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn’t need “tricks and gimmicks” to do well with women.

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Those Friends of Yours

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be “friends” first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.

In other words, these friends don’t have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Why are they like this? Why can’t they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can’t they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple “tactics” could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they’re lazy!

It’s All About Self-Improvement

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement oftentimes involves work. Take a look at all the info here at It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

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Make no mistake about it… you’re not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, “Oh well. I guess I’m just not much of a basketball player. But I’m sure there must be something else I can do.”?

I don’t think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

He wanted to be great. He decided that he was going to be great. And then he made himself great!

What Do Women Do?

What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?

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You tell me…

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.

And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women’s magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

They’re having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They’re learning the “game” and how to play it… and very, very well.

We’re busy JBYing… and they’re researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

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Is it any wonder that YOU’RE having so much trouble with women?

I think not. In fact, I think being an “idiot” is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.

And that’s why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who’ve dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!

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The Magnetic Power of Disagreeing With Women !!

Do you know when it’s important to disagree with a woman you desire?

Do you know when disagreeing actually helps you succeed with a woman — and when being agreeable might actually destroy your chances with her?

If you’d like to have your disagreements with women actually help you succeed with them, then you’ll want to take a few moments to read this right now.

It’ll be the easiest thing you’ve ever done to succeed with women.

First — Find Common Ground

It is true that it’s important to find “common ground” with women.

It is important to be able to make a connection with the women you meet by finding the things you have in common.

It’s important to find out what she most cares about — even if she isn’t sure of what it is, herself — and to admire that. That helps her see you as a man who understands her in a deep, personal way.

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When you do this right, it bonds a woman to you and makes you stand out to her as a man who can “get inside” her.

And a lot of our students have great successes with that kind of approach.

But did you know that there are uses for disagreement, too?

But Don’t Overdo It

Some men take “finding things you have in common” too far. They get so into trying to find things in common and admiring what women care about that they lose the edge in their personalities.

In a way, they become dishonest, because they are always editing what they might say to make sure it fits into the “things we have in common” frame.

They hide who they really are, because they are afraid of any disharmony with a woman.

Put another way…

If you avoid talking about things you DON’T have in common with a woman — out of fear of driving her away — you’ll become bland and boring.

…and being bland and boring is the surest way to drive a woman away.

In the final analysis… if you hide your true self — your beliefs, your interests, what’s important to you — in the pursuit of connecting with a woman, you’ll just end up angry and alone.

When Disagreement Is Good

But here’s some really good news…

It turns out that expressing yourself — even expressing your DISAGREEMENTS and INCOMPATIBILITIES with women — can be very attractive to them.

Sometimes a woman needs to know that you are DIFFERENT from her, and that your “inner world” is something that you value.

She needs to see that your inner world is different from hers, valuable — and that, if she’s lucky, she just might be able to enter it.

Having said that…

Here’s an Important Point

Being willing to disagree does NOT mean just being disagreeable.

It does NOT mean just arguing for the sake of arguing, or showing random hostility, aggressiveness, or defensiveness. That’s just going to seem crazy.

Being willing to disagree with a woman means being willing to have there be moments in the interaction where the woman really sees that you are different from her.

She sees that you are not a jerk about your disagreements. But she also sees that you have an inner world that you are not going to abandon just for her.

This is important:

Being willing to disagree, and take a stand for what’s important to you, actually makes you MORE valuable in a woman’s eyes.

When you value something more than you value having sex with her, it’s like saying, “here’s something more valuable than you are.”

And the coolest part is… she’ll want to achieve that same level of value, so it will get her to start working to be with YOU, and to get into YOUR world, rather than you always having to work to get into hers.

This works especially well on hot women, who are used to having men do ANYTHING to get closer to them. Suddenly she’s “competing” with something that’s more important to you than being close to her. So she tries to get closer to you.

Disagreeing can give you magnetic power with women, if you do it properly.

How to Disagree With a Woman — The Right Way

You compellingly disagree with a woman by showing her that you are willing to take a stand for what you believe in.

But — and this is important — you do it without having to be combative, obnoxious, or making her “wrong.”

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There are two steps to making that happen.

State your disagreement, and
Change the subject, without trying to change her point of view.
Let us give you an example:

She may have said something you really disagree with, like “I think war is always, always wrong.”

This might really go against what you believe. So you’d be willing to disagree. You’d say something like,

“I believe that there are times when you have to take action on what you think is right, and be willing to pay the price for that. I don’t totally agree with this war, but to me, there are times when a country has to take drastic action to protect its citizens, just like a man might have to take action to protect his family. I support that.”

She may respond with her point of view. Let her, but DON’T get sucked into a discussion about it.

The secret is to allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours.

You can say something like,

“I certainly don’t want to argue about it, and you make some good points. I’m just a man who believes what he believes.”

Then be willing to change the subject. Provide a new subject for conversation, by saying something like, “Hey, you said before that you were really into [something she told you she was into]. Can you tell me more about that?”

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Take Charge and Gain Respect

The thing is, a lot of men are frustrated with women. They are angry because they have felt helpless with women they desire. They’ve felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches leads to failure.

As you develop your skill in being able to disagree with women, without having to be a jerk, you’ll find that women respect you more, and are more attracted to you.

Try it out and see for yourself!

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Do you want to become more Confident Around Women In 3 Simple Steps !!

Let’s talk about confidence.

Girls always say that they love confidence in guys.

As I was growing up, it always felt like girls would always go for the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on a girl, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything.

This makes it especially difficult because as men, we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. And this can mean having to step way, way out of your comfort zone.

How are we supposed to be confident when it comes to dating, then?

I’m not going to give you some generic advice such as “fake it until you make it” or “just be confident.” You’ve probably already heard that enough times already.

Instead, I’m going to show you the three steps that I used to finally become confident around women.

Step 1: Understand the Psychology of Confidence

The first step is to understand how the psychology of confidence works.

Simply put, confidence reflects how much faith you have in yourself that you are able to complete a task successfully. This is influenced by your experience as well as the amount of risk involved, and it’s an evolutionary survival tool designed for keeping you out of trouble.

Imagine that you’re in the jungle with a friend and your companion decides that he’s going to fight a lion with his bare hands. You, on the other hand, don’t feel confident about the idea of doing so. One of you is going to be okay and the other… probably not so much.

In order to improve your confidence, you need to build the relevant skills and experience that allow you to have more faith in yourself around what you are trying to accomplish.

Think about the first time that you drove a car. Do you remember how you felt when you first pressed that gas pedal? How you felt when you pulled out into traffic the first time? And how you felt when you drove onto the highway for the first time?

You probably felt a little nervous or unsure of yourself. After all, you had no experience other than studying the textbook in drivers’ ed class. How do you feel when you drive a car today?

By now, you’ve been driving for hundreds and hundreds of hours. You have a lot more experience and a lot of it just feels like second nature to you. Because of this, you have a lot more faith in your driving abilities today which makes you much more confident than when you were first starting out.

Let’s apply this to dating.

Confidence around dating involves gaining the skills and experiences that allow you to have more faith in yourself around women. One of the most powerful ways for you to approach this is to adopt a growth mindset.

Someone who has a growth mindset knows that their skills and abilities can always be improved. They believe that they have the power to improve themselves and they see failure as opportunities for improvement rather than becoming discouraged by it.

The opposite is a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that their skills and abilities can’t be changed. They might say things like “I just don’t have what takes” or “I’ll never be as good as he is” or “I’m just not good at this.” Each of these sentences implies some sort of helplessness.

It might take some time to switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, especially if you’ve been following it since you were young. By learning to recognize these types of thoughts as they pop up and then realize that they aren’t true, you’ll slowly be able to adopt the new mindset.

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Step 2: Give Out Drive-By Compliments

The next step is to build up your courage by doing some drive-by compliments. To do this, you give someone a genuine compliment and then vanish.

Here are some examples:

Nice shirt/shoes/pants/jacket!
Your hair is awesome!
You are a beautiful woman!
Looking good!
Your dog is so cute!
This sounds deceptively simple and yet is really awesome.

First and foremost, you cannot possibly be shot down by the people that you approach. Since you are not asking for anything, you risk no social rejection. And you will long be on your merry way before it can ever become awkward.

In addition, you probably made the day of everyone that you complimented. Think about it, the person you just talked to might have been having a really rough day. Suddenly, you step out of the shadows and brighten their mood with a compliment before disappearing into the night again. You’re now the mysterious stranger who went out of his way to make someone else’s day better.

Like Batman. Seriously! (Bonus points if you actually do this dressed as Batman.)

Now, the first few times you do this may feel daunting. That’s perfectly okay! When I first started giving out drive-by compliments, I was absolutely terrified. I tried to say “Looking good” to a jogger as she ran past me but I was so nervous that my voice squeaked as if I had just taken a huge breath of helium. Yikes!

After I did this a few times, my fear of approaching people started to melt away. It quickly became much easier to go up to strangers and interact with them. And seeing the smiles on the faces of everyone you talk to really makes it worth it!

Giving out drive-by compliments might feel scary at first, but it will become so much easier after the first few times. After you do this, your fear of approaching other people — including any girls that you may have your eyes on — will start to melt away.

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Step 3: Start Random Conversations With Strangers

Finally, we’re going to begin some random conversations with strangers.

This is a little more daunting than drive by compliments. Here, you can get rejected. You can get shot down. And it is possible to make it totally awkward.

That’s okay. Remember that we’re using a growth mindset. If you’re playing a video game and you lose a life, do you turn the game off and never play it again? Of course not! You dust yourself off, learn what didn’t work so well, and try again! It’s the same thing here.

If you try to start a conversation with someone and it ends up becoming awkward, that’s okay. Don’t get down on yourself, and instead try to understand why it didn’t go so well. Did you say something that killed the conversation? Did you try to make a joke or tell a story that didn’t quite hit the mark? Maybe it wasn’t anything you did and the other person just didn’t feel like talking.

My recommendation is to start small. Instead of starting off by trying to chat up Megan Fox or Scarlet Johansson, set the bar a little lower and just try talking to the cashier the next time you go grocery shopping. Ask her how her day is. Maybe she’ll engage you. Or maybe not, which is also completely fine.

After that, I suggest stepping it up a little bit. The next time you are waiting in line at the coffee shop, turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself.

Another conversation starter you can try is to compliment someone and then ask them a related question instead of disappearing. So, you could say something like “Nice shirt!” and then follow up with “Is it new?” or “Where did you buy it?” Another example is to say “Your dog is so cute!” and then follow up with “What’s his name?” or “What kind of dog is he?”

In my experience, talking about weather kills conversations. It’s cliché and impersonal to try to have a conversation about the weather.

On the other hand, asking people questions about themselves often gives me good results. Everyone has an ego. If you can tap into someone else’s ego by asking them about themselves and then showing that you’re interested in what they have to say, they’ll probably talk your ear off.

Get out there and try making random conversations with strangers. You’ll get some practice talking to people and you’ll become skilled at making a conversation flow and keeping it engaging.

Being Confident Around Women

Did going through these three exercises really help me become more confident?

A little while ago, I was in the coffee shop and I happened to run into this stunningly gorgeous woman. The old Steve would have sat there paralyzed, unable to go up and talk to her. But this time was different.

This time I didn’t worry about being rejected or getting embarrassed. I didn’t feel a crippling fear holding me back or hear that voice in my head telling me that she’ll probably just turn me down.

And you know what the best part was?

For the first time, I was able to relax and just have FUN talking to a girl I liked.

Once you perfect the art of going up to random people and starting conversations, you’re going to build up a lot of faith in yourself. This will make you more confident. Naturally confident.

And you won’t ever have to fake it.

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First Impressions Count, so dress up and show up— Dressing Well and Accessorising

The saying goes — you should always leave the house dressed as if you’re about to meet the woman of your dreams.

I am sure many of you who read the blog and are becoming better and better at interacting with women are also looking to better yourselves in other supporting factors which help to achieve this goal of being better with women, such as, fashion.

First impressions matter, and they matter a lot — making a good one will definitely help you in scoring the date in the first place.

This is not to say that you need to be dressed according to what people define as “stylish”, if you don’t feel confident in what you’re wearing then that will be counter-intuitive. But on the flip side, many of us men never ventured out of our comfort zone revolving around loose pants and large-fitting T-shirts, perhaps a hoodie if it’s one of the chillier months.

So like the article just be yourself is bad advice, in the case of being a newcomer to the world of dressing well, you should definitely not be yourself — as your style matures and you begin to feel out what clothes and shoes and watches etc. suit you and your personality best this of course will become “be yourself”.

well dressed man

BUT, until then we are here to offer advice on how to accessorize — should you be interested in delving into accessories.

As the name suggests ‘accessories’ are just that, you definitely do not NEED them, and you can get away without wearing anything extra just fine.

However, accessories do have the power to make a somewhat boring outfit interesting, to reflect your personality, to be interesting conversation starters and to simply make you feel more confident “look good feel good” as cliché as it sounds definitely applies to being well dressed.

First of all, when it comes to accessories for men, the most common ones are as follows:

Wedding bands
(Bow) Ties
Tie clips
Pocket squares

Out of these the last 4 can be considered formal wear and you won’t encounter them in casual every-day situations.

The rest range from ‘green’ which are widely accepted and worn by the majority of men, to ‘red’ which are items men are warier of delving into.

Each accessory definitely plays into how a woman might form her first impression of you — do you wear a digital watch or a diver? Do you have a Velcro wallet or a leather wallet… what color is it (how thick is it? To play of the age-old joke)?

Now if you’re wearing a wedding band that will probably be the strongest statement piece — and hopefully you’re reading this to keep the spark of romance alive between you and the missus, otherwise it might be worth looking into a good lawyer.

Kidding aside though everything about you will pepper the first impression of not just women you’re interested in, but the people you encounter on a day-to-day basis.

For those of you who are still rocking the Velcro wallet, or an old digital watch you got from the dollar store and really have no idea where to begin — a safe rule to follow is:

Black leather wallet
– Black goes with everything, including fancy dress

Simple minimal watch (such as a Timex weekender)
– Again, goes with everything

(if you wear glasses) a nice face complementing frame

You do not need anything besides those — for now just get used to the feeling of the new items.

For those of you who are past the basics and are looking to add a little more spark to your daily outfits, the best course of action would be a bracelet.

Bracelets, so long as they are not too over-the-top are pieces which can be interesting without being overly polarizing.

A bracelet on a man must look like it has been with him across many adventures, it must be a part of you which you’re so used to you don’t even notice — so when you get yourself a bracelet, the best course of action is to commit to it for a few weeks, and you’ll be wearing it with the same confidence you wear any other part of your body (which I hope is a lot of confidence).

Some simple rules to follow with bracelets:

Metal bracelets should not be stacked.
Rope, bead, natural material bracelets may be stacked if they are thin.
Thin natural bracelets can be worn on the same wrist as a watch.
One wrist only, adorning both wrists with bracelets might look tacky.

An understated set of bracelets can look quite appealing.

Rope and leather bracelets are an excellent choice for something which you can wear with anything, and have an adventurous masculine look to them — this is also an excellent impression to leave on women.

Bracelets are subtle, yet display your careful thought into making your outfit stand out from the crowd, this shows attention to detail and is yet again, a positive impression.

A woman does not want to feel like she is going to be dating just another average cookie-cutter guy, and accessorizing is your foot in the door which allows you to state “I am my own man”.

Needless to say, if you have actually worn your bracelet (or any accessory) for a long time, it can be a helpful trigger for good stories you associate wearing it, and can help conversation flow on a first date.

I don’t want to sound like I am over-hyping the benefits of accessorizing and dressing well, but if you haven’t tried doing so yet, it might just be the key to having additional success in your dating life.

I wish you all good fortune, and hope I have inspired at least some to give accessorizing and changing the way they dress a try.

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