How to Become More Confident Around Women In 3 Simple Steps

Let’s talk about confidence.

Girls always say that they love confidence in guys.

As I was growing up, it always felt like girls would always go for the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on a girl, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything.

This makes it especially difficult because as men, we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. And this can mean having to step way, way out of your comfort zone.

How are we supposed to be confident when it comes to dating, then?

I’m not going to give you some generic advice such as “fake it until you make it” or “just be confident.” You’ve probably already heard that enough times already.

Instead, I’m going to show you the three steps that I used to finally become confident around women.

Step 1: Understand the Psychology of Confidence

The first step is to understand how the psychology of confidence works.

Simply put, confidence reflects how much faith you have in yourself that you are able to complete a task successfully. This is influenced by your experience as well as the amount of risk involved, and it’s an evolutionary survival tool designed for keeping you out of trouble.

Imagine that you’re in the jungle with a friend and your companion decides that he’s going to fight a lion with his bare hands. You, on the other hand, don’t feel confident about the idea of doing so. One of you is going to be okay and the other… probably not so much.

In order to improve your confidence, you need to build the relevant skills and experience that allow you to have more faith in yourself around what you are trying to accomplish.

Think about the first time that you drove a car. Do you remember how you felt when you first pressed that gas pedal? How you felt when you pulled out into traffic the first time? And how you felt when you drove onto the highway for the first time?

You probably felt a little nervous or unsure of yourself. After all, you had no experience other than studying the textbook in drivers’ ed class. How do you feel when you drive a car today?

By now, you’ve been driving for hundreds and hundreds of hours. You have a lot more experience and a lot of it just feels like second nature to you. Because of this, you have a lot more faith in your driving abilities today which makes you much more confident than when you were first starting out.

Let’s apply this to dating.

Confidence around dating involves gaining the skills and experiences that allow you to have more faith in yourself around women. One of the most powerful ways for you to approach this is to adopt a growth mindset.

Someone who has a growth mindset knows that their skills and abilities can always be improved. They believe that they have the power to improve themselves and they see failure as opportunities for improvement rather than becoming discouraged by it.

The opposite is a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that their skills and abilities can’t be changed. They might say things like “I just don’t have what takes” or “I’ll never be as good as he is” or “I’m just not good at this.” Each of these sentences implies some sort of helplessness.

It might take some time to switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, especially if you’ve been following it since you were young. By learning to recognize these types of thoughts as they pop up and then realize that they aren’t true, you’ll slowly be able to adopt the new mindset.

Step 2: Give Out Drive-By Compliments

The next step is to build up your courage by doing some drive-by compliments. To do this, you give someone a genuine compliment and then vanish.

Here are some examples:

– Nice shirt/shoes/pants/jacket!
– Your hair is awesome!
– You are a beautiful woman!
– Looking good!
– Your dog is so cute!

This sounds deceptively simple and yet is really awesome.

First and foremost, you cannot possibly be shot down by the people that you approach. Since you are not asking for anything, you risk no social rejection. And you will long be on your merry way before it can ever become awkward.

In addition, you probably made the day of everyone that you complimented. Think about it, the person you just talked to might have been having a really rough day. Suddenly, you step out of the shadows and brighten their mood with a compliment before disappearing into the night again. You’re now the mysterious stranger who went out of his way to make someone else’s day better.

Like Batman. Seriously! (Bonus points if you actually do this dressed as Batman.)

Now, the first few times you do this may feel daunting. That’s perfectly okay! When I first started giving out drive-by compliments, I was absolutely terrified. I tried to say “Looking good” to a jogger as she ran past me but I was so nervous that my voice squeaked as if I had just taken a huge breath of helium. Yikes!

After I did this a few times, my fear of approaching people started to melt away. It quickly became much easier to go up to strangers and interact with them. And seeing the smiles on the faces of everyone you talk to really makes it worth it!

Giving out drive-by compliments might feel scary at first, but it will become so much easier after the first few times. After you do this, your fear of approaching other people — including any girls that you may have your eyes on — will start to melt away.

Step 3: Start Random Conversations With Strangers

Finally, we’re going to begin some random conversations with strangers.

This is a little more daunting than drive by compliments. Here, you can get rejected. You can get shot down. And it is possible to make it totally awkward.

That’s okay. Remember that we’re using a growth mindset. If you’re playing a video game and you lose a life, do you turn the game off and never play it again? Of course not! You dust yourself off, learn what didn’t work so well, and try again! It’s the same thing here.

If you try to start a conversation with someone and it ends up becoming awkward, that’s okay. Don’t get down on yourself, and instead try to understand why it didn’t go so well. Did you say something that killed the conversation? Did you try to make a joke or tell a story that didn’t quite hit the mark? Maybe it wasn’t anything you did and the other person just didn’t feel like talking.

My recommendation is to start small. Instead of starting off by trying to chat up Megan Fox or Scarlet Johansson, set the bar a little lower and just try talking to the cashier the next time you go grocery shopping. Ask her how her day is. Maybe she’ll engage you. Or maybe not, which is also completely fine.

After that, I suggest stepping it up a little bit. The next time you are waiting in line at the coffee shop, turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself.

Another conversation starter you can try is to compliment someone and then ask them a related question instead of disappearing. So, you could say something like “Nice shirt!” and then follow up with “Is it new?” or “Where did you buy it?” Another example is to say “Your dog is so cute!” and then follow up with “What’s his name?” or “What kind of dog is he?”

In my experience, talking about weather kills conversations. It’s cliché and impersonal to try to have a conversation about the weather.

On the other hand, asking people questions about themselves often gives me good results. Everyone has an ego. If you can tap into someone else’s ego by asking them about themselves and then showing that you’re interested in what they have to say, they’ll probably talk your ear off.

Get out there and try making random conversations with strangers. You’ll get some practice talking to people and you’ll become skilled at making a conversation flow and keeping it engaging.

Being Confident Around Women

Did going through these three exercises really help me become more confident?

A little while ago, I was in the coffee shop and I happened to run into this stunningly gorgeous woman. The old Steve would have sat there paralyzed, unable to go up and talk to her. But this time was different.

This time I didn’t worry about being rejected or getting embarrassed. I didn’t feel a crippling fear holding me back or hear that voice in my head telling me that she’ll probably just turn me down.

And you know what the best part was?

For the first time, I was able to relax and just have FUN talking to a girl I liked.

Once you perfect the art of going up to random people and starting conversations, you’re going to build up a lot of faith in yourself. This will make you more confident. Naturally confident.

And you won’t ever have to fake it.

About the Author: Steven Zawila is an introvert and bookworm who runs the website charmingintrovert.com which provides authentic dating advice to introvert men about where to meet women, what to say to her, and how to be confident around her.


How to Approach the Perfect Girl – Step by Step Guide to get a First Date

Imagine you are taking a walk in the city.

The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day. Or let’s say that it could be a beautiful day if you wouldn’t see so many beautiful women. It’s pure torture. You see one stunning girl after another and they all walk around in short dresses.

You would give everything to talk to one of these girls, to make her smile, and to take her out on a date.

But you are too afraid.

You can’t even remember the last time you approached a woman. Just the idea of approaching a woman makes you want to throw up. You don’t know how to stand, what to say, or when to ask her for her number. If you only knew these things, you would be way more confident.

Don’t you think it’s time to learn the steps of the perfect approach?

It is and the following infographic at the bottom about conversation techniques reveals each and every step which I will go through one at a time, because I want to make it as easy as possible for you to succeed. That’s why I decided to explain every single step in more detail.

I really hope that the following step-by-step guide helps you to approach beautiful women and to get more phone numbers than your phone can store.

1. Overcome Approach Anxiety

Yes, you can approach thousands of women and desensitize yourself to the experience of talking to beautiful women. That can work. But there’s an easier way and it starts in your mind.

Most men are so afraid of approaching women that their mind produces one horror scenario after another. As a result, approaching women becomes a burden instead of an exciting experience.

What’s the solution? Change your focus. Instead of focusing on all the negative things that could happen, you focus on achieving your goals. Imagine how it would feel to kiss a beautiful woman at the end of the date. If you leave your house with this image in mind, you can’t lose.

2. Have Fun When You Go Out

What do most guys do when they go out to approach women?

They are determined to get a few numbers and they try to look as cool as possible. As a result, they look aggressive and way too serious.

That’s not how you get girls. Girls want to date fun guys who love to have a good time. They want a playful adventurer. And in order to become this fun and playful man, you need to realize that approaching gorgeous women is not different than approaching any other person.

3. Don’t Hesitate

Men who hesitate masturbate.

It makes me cringe when I go to a bar and I see a bunch of guys who are staring at a girl without doing anything. The only thing you have to do in such a situation is to walk up to her and say hi.

Not hesitating is the best way to set yourself apart from all the other men who stand there and don’t take action.

4. Be Friendly and Charming

Unfortunately, a lot of guys take the advice to be alpha a bit too far. They confuse being a strong leader with looking like an Uruk-hai from The Lord of The Rings. Sorry, but looking like a mass murderer is not a good idea, at least not when you want to get dates with beautiful women.

Instead of being as alpha as possible, you should test how it is to be as friendly as possible.

Think about it. The moment you approach a woman she doesn’t know whether you are a genuine man or a rapist. You are a complete stranger and being friendly helps her to become comfortable around you.

5. Give Her a Compliment

There are a lot of misconceptions about giving women compliments. And yes, while giving compliments in a needy way can backfire, giving them with confidence can be extremely attractive.

The problem that a lot of guys who avoid giving compliments have is that the women they talk to don’t know what they actually want. When you give her a compliment she knows what you want. This can save you a lot of time.

6. Connect With Her

Every man who wants to approach women should also know how to connect with them. Women want to feel something before they allow a man to seduce them and connection is what triggers these feelings.

But don’t worry. It’s not that hard to connect with women. It’s a simple three-step process.

  1. Share your hobbies and passion with her.
  2. Ask her about her hobbies and passion.
  3. Refer her hobbies and passion to yourself.

That’s how you connect with women.

7. Have a Natural Conversation

A natural conversation flows. There are no uncomfortable pauses and you don’t just switch the topic without a reason.

Keep these things in mind when you talk to women. Don’t just talk about a topic because you want to talk about it and don’t just ask for her number because you promised yourself to get it in less than five minutes.

Let the conversation flow.

8. Read Her Signs

Women are not evil. They want you to succeed. In case you’ve watched the movie Hitch, you know that no woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today”.

When a woman likes you, she will let you know.

The only problem is that a lot of men are blind to the signals of women. Most men don’t even notice when a woman plays with her hair or bites her lips. I hope you are one of the few men who are aware of these signals.

9. Don’t Ask for Her Number

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is to ask for a girl’s number. Okay, asking is better than walking away with no phone number, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a more effective technique.

Don’t ask for her number. Demand her number.

Women are somehow conditioned to say no when a guy asks them for their number. She doesn’t feel the same pressure when you tell her to put her number into your phone. Say it with confidence and she will do it.

10. Enjoy Your First Date

Just keep your smartphone in your pocket and enjoy your date.

That’s all I have to say.

by Sebastian Harris

First Date


 

How to become a Successful Seducer? – Relax, it is Easier Than You Think

A Seduction Secret That Other “Gurus” Don’t Want You to Know: Getting women into your bed is easier than most men ever know.

The truth is, most of the moments of your interaction with a hot woman don’t really make much difference. It’s the brief “Pivot Moments” that decide whether you are a success with her, or if you go home alone.

A “pivot,” in case you don’t know, is a part in a machine from which something — say, a swing-arm — can swing in one direction, or another.

With women, “Pivot Moments” are the brief, fleeting moments where the whole outcome of your interaction with her is decided.

How you handle the “Pivot Moments” defines whether you become lovers with the women, or end up just another guy she thinks of as “just a friend.”

With women, Pivot Moments are the brief, fleeting moments where the whole outcome of your interaction with her is decided.
Obviously, these “Pivot Moments” are pretty important.

In fact, these “Pivot Moments” are crossroads, defining moments in interactions with women. If you do the wrong thing at that moment, the relationship will swing one way — like toward the direction of being “just friends.”

If you do the right thing at that “pivot moment”, the relationship will swing another — like toward the two of your becoming lovers.

And here’s the best news:

Handling the “Pivot Moments” Correctly Is Not Hard

Succeeding with women looks hard because it’s so easy to do it wrong. But get this, because it’s important…

Even the *worst* seducer isn’t doing it wrong every moment. In fact, most of the moments a bad seducer is talking to a woman, he’s doing it just fine. Most moments, even a bad seducer is not doing things differently than a successful one would.

A lot of self-described “Seduction Gurus” don’t want you to know this, because it makes success too simple, but it’s true…

Most moments with women are the same whether you are destined to be friends, or destined to be lovers. You’re hanging out, talking about random things. And that’s fine.

The difference is the “Pivot Moments.” The successful seducer handles the “Pivot Moments” perfectly. The failure seducer doesn’t.

The successful seducer handles the “Pivot Moments” perfectly. The failure seducer doesn’t.
This is not a joke. This is not “hype.” This is something that will give you the hot women you want. And much more easily than you think.

If you get all the pivot points wrong, you will never get a woman, except in the rare times that a woman chooses YOU, and has sex with you in spite of how poorly you handled the “Pivot Moments.”

If you get all the pivot points RIGHT, you don’t need to do anything miraculous to get what you want with women. The seduction will seem to just “happen.”

Most men spend so much time trying to come up with some elaborate routine or system to get women, that they lose sight of this simple fact.

Let’s Look At the First “Pivot Moment” That Happens With Women

The first “Pivot Moment” with a woman is when you first start talking to her.

The truth is, she’s afraid. She’s wondering what you are going to do to her. She’s wondering how long it will take. She doesn’t know if you are some psycho who is going to harm her, stalk her, or do who-knows-what to her.

The first “Pivot Moment” with a woman is when you first start talking to her.
These are legitimate worries for a women to have. No matter how much you might complain how hard it is to be a man, women — especially hot ones — face dangers from men every day that you do not.

The woman you are approaching probably has had a host of bad experiences with men, and that’s why she’s afraid of you.

Now, from her point of view, imagine what it is like to have you approach her. While SHE is being scared that something bad is going to happen in the interaction, YOU are afraid, too.

Here’s Something That Not Many Men Realize

YOU must be a source of certainty that everything is okay in an interaction with a woman.

Think about it. When you approach a woman, she is looking at YOUR behavior to decide how much SHE should relax.

If you seem tense, she’ll get tense.

It’s as if she’s thinking, “He’s acting like there’s something terribly wrong. There MUST BE something terribly wrong!! I’m in danger!”

Meanwhile, you are thinking, “Wow, this woman seems to be getting scared. I must be screwing it up. I’m doomed! What’s wrong with me?!”

Put another way…

YOU must be a source of certainty that everything is okay in an interaction with a woman.
You are waiting for the woman to relax before YOU relax.

Meanwhile, she’s waiting for YOU to relax before SHE relaxes.

This is bad. And it will NOT get you what you want with her.

You’ve probably noticed that there are some men that women naturally feel comfortable with.

They are able to approach women, and the women don’t get tense or scared.

These are the men who get women!

And Here’s Their Secret

These men do something incredibly simple in that first “Pivot Moment” when they approach a woman.

They are relaxing, even before the woman relaxes.

And it makes all the difference.

We call this “Being a Source of Certainty that the Interaction is Okay.”

YOU can do this, too.

Do not wait for her to relax before you relax. Help encourage her to relax by relaxing yourself.
It’s just that you’ve probably thought it was RUDE to relax before a woman does.

Now you know differently.

Next time you interact with a woman, take a chance. Be willing to believe, if only for a moment, that everything is okay in your interaction.

Do NOT wait for her to relax before you relax. Help encourage her to relax by relaxing yourself. It actually is easy, once you decide to do it.

Here’s Exactly How You Become a “Source of Certainty” With Women

– Next time you are talking to a woman, notice if you are waiting for her to relax before you relax.
– Then allow yourself, for a moment, to relax and believe that the interaction is going just fine — even if she doesn’t seem to be feeling the same way.
– Notice how she relaxes, sometimes immediately.

One man told us about how he used this approach right away after he learned it.

He said, “I was ordering some coffee at the local coffee shop, and started trying to flirt with the hot girl behind the counter. She seemed sort of scared, and normally I’d have waited for her to relax before I did — which, of course, would never happen.”

He goes on: “I remembered to be a Source of Certainty, and decided that I would relax, even if she didn’t. I told myself, ‘Everything is okay between us. I can relax.'”

“The results were amazing, really shocking. The moment I decided that I would trust that everything was okay, she suddenly let out a deep breath, and her shoulders relaxed. It’s true — she must have been getting scared by how scared I was, and the moment I calmed down, she calmed down, too.”

Congratulations! You’ve gotten through the first “Pivot Moment” with a woman! Once you are able to do this, everything else with women will be easier.

If you like the idea of ONLY thinking about the important moments with hot women, and simply being able to relax and “let success happen” in your interactions with them, then you’ll want to be sure to check out the important information at the website below.

You know, men often tell us that what makes our work different than that of other so-called “Seduction Gurus” is that we focus on the simple, useful ideas that can make things work in those “Pivot Moments.”

In fact, that’s why some men call our work “Dirt Simple Success with Women” — because we remove the complications, the manipulations, and the whole “Song-and-dance” from succeeding with women, and make it EASY.

So make sure you try out being a “source of certainty” in your next interaction with a woman.

Until next time,

Ron Louis and David Copeland
P.S. We’ve had all the same problems you probably have. And we’ve gotten past them.

About the Authors: Ron and David are dating coaches. Their book How to Succeed With Women has sold over 40,000 copies. They have been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Playboy, YM, Maxim, GQ UK, Swank, Gallery, and Players. They have also been on the Rosanne Barr Show, the Issac Hays show, To Tell the Truth, Fox News, CNN, UPN, and ABC. For more great tips on meeting and dating women or to ask a question go to howtosucceedwithwomen.com.


The importance of eyes when engaging in social interaction. Especially with all those gorgeous women to look at!

Let’s talk a little bit about the eyes…

The eyes are quite amazing! Very few things surpass the importance of our eyes when engaged in social interaction… especially with those gorgeous women we love to feast them upon.

I’m not talking about eye contact in this article. Or the way we use our eyes to connect and disconnect, with others. I’m talking about the eyes themselves… specifically the pupils of your eyes.

Three EXTREMELY IMPORTANT things to understand right up front:

The pupils of our eyes dilate and grow larger when we see someone we’re attracted to.
Larger, dilated pupils are seen as more attractive than smaller, contracted pupils.
We like those who like us.
Okay…

Whenever we see someone we like, the pupils of our eyes dilate and grow larger. It’s almost as if our eyes are trying to see as much of this person as possible. This is an involuntary and uncontrollable physiological response.

Look Into My Eyes…

An eye can threaten like a loaded and levelled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. – Saint Jerome

Thus, you can often tell if a woman is attracted to you by observing her pupils, and noting whether they expand or contract (or maybe do nothing) when she looks at you.

(Note: contracting would not be good for you… as it likely means she not only is not attracted to you, but actively dislikes you. Sorry about that.)

I say, “often tell,” because sometimes the environment can interfere with the “psychological” responses of our pupils. If you’re outside on a bright sunny day, it may be difficult for even your magnificence to dilate her pupils. Similarly, if you’re together in a dimly lit room, her pupils are probably going to be dilated no matter how much she despises you.

One other thing to keep in mind is her base level, or natural pupil size. This varies somewhat from person to person. Some people have larger pupils and some have smaller pupils. So to effectively judge “your” effect on her, you’re going to have to keep in mind her base level and judge the “change” when she gazes longingly (you hope) in your direction.

Please try to be inconspicuous about this. Do NOT tell her what you’re doing. If she had any idea it would make her very uncomfortable.

On the other hand, keep in mind that if gorgeous girl you’ve been checking out knows her pupil physiology, she already “knows” you’re attracted to her. She can see it in your eyes. And, short of wearing sunglasses or avoiding all eye contact, there’s not much you can do about it.

But I wouldn’t worry about this too much. There’s very little chance that your average lady is going to understand this particular psycho-physiological response. After all, she probably doesn’t subscribe to The Don Juan Newsletter like you do. (YOU LUCKY DOG, YOU!)

The second thing to keep in mind is that larger, dilated pupils are considered more physically attractive (and more friendly) than are smaller, contracted pupils.

For example, studies with photographs have shown that attractiveness increases as pupil size increases. Likewise, if the researchers altered the pupil sizes in the photographs to make them smaller, they could decrease the attractiveness of the individuals in the photos.

We’re talking about the SAME target photos here. Increasing or decreasing the pupil sizes of the same photos and noting the perceived level of attractiveness as rated by the subjects. We’re not comparing different people with different pupil sizes and concluding that those with larger pupils are seen as more attractive than those with smaller pupils. Obviously, there are a lot of other variables to consider when comparing different individuals.

Ever heard of the Belladonna plant?

Belladonna is Italian for “beautiful lady” and was frequently used by 16th century women to give their eyes a sexy and dreamy look (by dilating the pupils).

An important point to keep in mind is that these pupil attractiveness effects operate in a “subconscious” fashion. The people in the experiments know they like the photos with the dilated pupils better, but they don’t know exactly why. The person just seems “more handsome” or “prettier” or “friendlier” somehow. They do not realize the pupils have been altered physically by the researchers.

Thus, ideally, you would like for your pupils to be as large as possible when gazing at women you’re attracted to (making you more attractive). And luckily, as mentioned in the first part of this article, that is exactly what happens. (Cool, huh?)

You see a beautiful girl. Your pupils dilate. The large pupils cause her to see you as more attractive than she otherwise might. Your responses are automatic. Her responses are subconscious. Works out pretty well doesn’t it?

Keep in mind that it works the other way as well. If a girl is attracted to you her pupils will dilate when she’s looking at you. As a result, you will see her as being more attractive than you might otherwise think her to be. Again, both reactions are automatic and usually subconscious.

The third major point discussed in this article is that we like those who like us.

We are almost always attracted to those who are attracted to us. Why? Could be many possible reasons for this. But probably the main reason is because when another person likes us, it makes us feel good about ourselves. It gives us an ego boost and increases our self-esteem and self-confidence.

Like it or not, we often judge ourselves by other people’s reactions to us. If others seem to like us, then we feel good about ourselves. If others don’t seem to like us, then we may feel bad about ourselves. Not always, but much of the time.

Given this principle of reciprocal liking, we now have a logical explanation to explain the attractiveness effects described above.

When you look at a girl you’re attracted to, your pupils dilate. Subconsciously, she notices your dilated pupils and concludes that you like her and are attracted to her. Since people who like her give her an ego boost and make her feel good about herself, she becomes more attracted to you than she might be otherwise. Does this make sense?

So remember…

“If you want someone to like you, then like them.”

This simple principle has been known for ages. Yet it’s amazing how few people really understand it or practice it. And how dearly this lack of understanding costs them.

Now that we understand the three points discussed above, the question becomes, “How can we use this information to enrich our lives by making ourselves more attractive to women?”

I’ll go over a few possible scenarios, but use your imagination. There are dozens of ways to use the knowledge you now possess to add love, romance, and excitement to your life.

Ever wonder why a candlelit dinner with wine is considered so romantic? Think about it. The dim light dilates the pupils of both individuals, making them both more attractive to one another than they usually are (not to mention hiding minor physical flaws). And the alcohol in the wine accentuates the pupil dilation even more.

Yes, alcohol dilates the pupils. It also promotes relaxation and reduces inhibitions. It’s definitely your friend on a date. But be careful not to abuse the alcohol. A little is romantic. A lot becomes unpredictable and can wind up ruining the evening.

Another tip you may find helpful: remember to gaze into the eyes of that beautiful lady you’re interested in. You’re attracted to her. Your pupils dilate. She subconsciously recognizes your attraction. She likes those wise individuals who like her. She feels good. She starts to like you.

And all you’ve done is look into her beautiful eyes. You haven’t really said or “risked” anything. Seems pretty simple doesn’t it?

(Don’t be surprised if she tells her girlfriends “what beautiful eyes” you have.)

I know. I know. You’re shy. You usually go to extremes in order to avoid eye contact… especially with women you’re attracted to. You look down. You look away. You look anywhere but into “the eyes.”

You’d rather die than let her know you’re attracted to her. You want her to be attracted to you first. Once you’re sure she’s attracted to you, then maybe you’ll let on a little that you’re attracted to her as well.

BIG MISTAKE!

Remember, if you want someone to like you, like them. And let them know you like them. Look into her eyes and smile. Force yourself to… just for a couple seconds every now and then.

I’m not talking about staring into her eyes until the sweat starts popping from her brow. Staring will simply make her feel uncomfortable.

Just add a little casual eye contact into your conversations with her. And smile. Remember, she will come to like you BECAUSE you like her.

Another example…

Ever go to bars? Ever notice how beautiful the women in bars look?

Yes, the women definitely dress to impress. But also, bars are usually dimly lit with alcohol consumption the norm. Dilated pupils and reduced inhibitions everywhere you look.

And do these beautiful ladies get even more beautiful at closing time? Ever heard that? It could be, of course, that you’re more desperate at closing time (or too drunk to tell the difference).

It’s also very likely that as the evening winds along and the women drink more and more, that they actually do get more beautiful. Their pupils become more and more dilated giving their eyes that sexy, dreamy look (remember Belladonna?).

Think about the *secrets* I’ve just revealed to you. And be sure to ACT upon what you now KNOW.

Allen Thompson


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Wondering if Content Marketing is a Good Strategy for Dating Sites? Answer is Yes!

Content marketing is everywhere you look online. You’ll see a wide variety of brands and industry experts preaching about the power behind strategically creating all sorts of different blogs, posts, videos, newsletters, webinars, user cases, case studies, white papers, success stories, etc. that serve to educate users and spike up their interest/need/awareness for the company, product or service.

In the last 12-24 months, content marketing has been trending like crazy. It’s all everyone’s talking about. Regardless if you work in the dating industry, marketing, fashion or somewhere completely different, you have certainly heard a lot about this form of marketing, especially if you operate in the B2B world.
Looking over at various recent surveys online, we have found some interesting stats about content marketing. As the guys behind the Demand Gen claim in their latest 2016 content marketing survey, 51% of B2B buyers now rely on content to help conduct their buying decisions.

The vast majority of these decision makers say they’re no longer interested in looking at ads and all sorts of different generic advertisement. No, in this day and age they’re far more interested in reading smart, compelling content that educates rather than sells. They want value, not discounts.

But this is just the tip of the iceberg. In that very same survey, it has also been written that 47% of buyers viewed around five pieces of content before moving into the second phase of the sales process. Apart from that, Demand Gen’s report also tells us that 95% of B2B buyers are willing to consider vendor-related content as trustworthy.

So, What Do These Numbers Tell Us, Exactly?

Nothing, apart from the fact that content marketing really works and that you should do everything in your power to implement it in your already existent marketing mix.

The days of pushing unimaginative advertisement on your targeted audience and making uneducated guesses when it comes to marketing are long gone. If you want to retain your existing clients/users and stimulate even more leads in to becoming your actual paying customers, you need to feed them with content that clearly and concisely communicates the value behind your business, products or services.

As a B2B white label dating solution, we at Partner Factory have been investing in content marketing for quite some time. Why? Because our users need to know all the advantages and values that come with using our service.

If we don’t do our best to make our worth transparent to them, we cannot really expect our business to grow.

Even though most people don’t really see the importance of investing in content marketing in this niche and industry, our results beg to differ.

Our current efforts have shown that every business owner, big and small, should do his best to create an intelligent content marketing strategy for his or her brand. In 2017, it’s in your best interest to develop a precise content strategy that will surely stimulate your targeted audience to remember your brand and recognize what sets you apart from your competitors.

But how does one accomplish such a strategy?

Easily. By following and focusing on the following:

Think About The Core Value of Your Business – Solve Problems for Your Users

In order to get someone to try your service, you must make sure that people actually understand what it is that you’re selling. They need to know who you are, what you do and where you come from. Apart from that, your targeted audience also needs to understand why should they care about your products and services.

Yes, there are a lot of why’s here, but that’s the point. If you’re able to provide intelligent answers to these types of questions in your content, then you have an actual business. You have something that’s actually valuable to people. That’s why every intelligent content strategy should be built around providing answers to relevant questions.

Your job in this department is to demonstrate your worth to everyone who could become your customer in one point of his or her life. You want people to instantly see you as a solution to their particular troubles.

The only way you can do that is by creating content that addresses your audience’s common points and offers them easy, actionable advice that’s actually capable of getting from point A to point B.

Focus On Interactions – Provoke Interest, Share Value

Content marketing is all about provoking interactions. Every successful piece of content out there was built around a notion to stimulate action and reaction from a specific lead or customer.

Looking back at what we have accomplished in this field in the last 12 months, we have figured out that persona driven storytelling is king here.

If you want people to really start paying attention to your brand, products and services, you need to show them something that immediately gets them interested in your story. One of the ways you can do that is to develop multiple, precise customer personas and publish all sorts of different use cases through them. People love reading about success stories and everything that could actually help them get the most out of their efforts and investments. 

For example, Match does a great job. They curate success stories from their own community, which naturally speaks volumes to their targeted audience. Genius!

Zoosk also drains their content marketing power from their users. The guys behind this brand take popular questions from their communities and answer them in their “Joan Actually” column.

So, what’s the key takeaway here? What can we learn from these two examples?

Only that if you figure out who’s your ideal customers, what confuses them about your service, what usually holds them back from making that purchase, and how to cover that in your content, you’ll see some serious ROI in this department.

Focus On Creating Content That Speaks To Your Users in Every Stage of Your Marketing Funnel

In order to get the most out of your content marketing efforts, you must consider crafting all sorts of different material that influences your audience throughout every single phase of your funnel.

You need to think bigger. You cannot just write one big, juicy piece of content, publish it on your site and expect it to magically generate a bus-load of leads for you in no time. Nope. It’s not really that simple.

Things don’t work like that here.

Content marketing is a long game. If you want to succeed in this department, you have to develop a strategy that’s actually based on data and current customer/lead behavior. You need to know all the little things that stand between you and making a sale if you want to make more than a couple of conversions through your blog posts, case studies, webinars, videos, etc.

It’s imperative to know what your audience really likes about your brand and business, and what drives them away. Your prime objective here should be to find the holes in your sales funnel and fill them with content that proves to your targeted crowd that your products and services are beneficial to their business.

Every sales funnel has four stages:

  1. The awareness stage
  2. The consideration stage
  3. The sales stage
  4. The customer retention stage

The first stage is always about creating content that gets people to notice your brand. This is where you create all sorts of blog posts, use cases, cases studies, videos and basically everything that demonstrates your values and provokes interest.

The second stage is where you directly reach out to people who are considering doing business with you, but something is still holding them back. In this part of your funnel you can usually reach your goal and generate a few sales by targeting your leads with various comparison posts, success stories and cases studies that showcase that you’ve actually helped someone turn their business around.

Moving on down to the third part: the hard sell. The gloves are off in this part of the funnel. This is where you directly go for the conversion! The important thing to have in mind here is that if a certain customer has entered this stage of your funnel, he’s ready to buy. The only thing that still remains a mystery is what kind of product or service are you going sell. In this stage, the thing that could help you close the deal is usually a compelling, well placed call-to-action. Or maybe a free trial, powered by an intelligent copy.

And last, but not least, the customer retention phase. Why is this important? Because it’s a lot easier to sell your stuff to people that are already satisfied with what you offer. There are literally thousands of different things you could do here to build up your customer loyalty. We at Partner Factory usually feed our active customers with special mentions in your content, focus on quality and exclusive gifts. Believe it or not, nine times out of ten, these things close the deal.


How to Grow Your Own Online Dating Site Business using White Label Free Dating Sites

Growing your online dating sites business is no easy job. Trust us on this one. In fact, it’s hard as hell. Let’s just say that at this moment there are literally millions of active dating sites online.

And the worst part of it all? That number is constantly growing. Every single day, hundreds and thousands of new dating sites magically appear out of nowhere.

We are not exaggerating:

Believe it or not, around 7 million UK residents are currently using online dating. The numbers in The United States are even higher. It has been reported that, in 2016 alone, 15% of adults who reside on that continent were active online. Going through these numbers, we have recognized the usage of 18- to 24-year-old’s has increased almost 3 times in the last 3 years.

 

 

So, what do these statistics exactly mean?

Among other things, that online dating sites are a highly-competitive and highly-lucrative market where only the most persistent and clever brands will survive. It’s a fierce industry in which far too many businesses are wrestling with each other for those very same type of users.

But, all that aside, there’s still room for growth here. Online dating is a $2.5 billion business in the United States alone. There still space for young brands to make their mark in this industry.

How? – Well, the opportunities are endless. There are literally thousands of different ways on how you can grow your online dating brand from zero to hero in no time.

In order to rise above the crowd and make your brand recognizable in all sorts of different circles, you’ll need to study and learn everything you possibly can from the top players in your (micro) niche. It’s in your best interest to figure out what makes them tick, what are their strengths, weaknesses, and how they maintain relevancy in their consumers’ eyes.

We at Dating Factory have been in this business for years now. Our company was founded back in 2009 by a small team of experienced marketers who had only one goal on their minds, and that’s to become the global leader in the provision of private label dating services. Over these last seven years, Dating has seen incredible levels of growth.

In a very short period of time, we managed to elevate our company from a small business based in Switzerland, to an international brand that oversees all sorts of different operations across Europe and The States.

Even though it seemed nearly impossible back then, today, we serve loads of partners worldwide. Our global footprint is reflected in the product itself, which is offered in 22 languages, giving partners a real opportunity to also build success on an international market.

 

How did we manage to do all that, you may wonder?

Simply – by creating an intelligent growth strategy and measuring our efforts. Having a great growth strategy is of crucial importance to every business. Why? – Well, because most businesses start small, and stay small. Research has shown that most companies never really make any real revenue.

That’s why having a real and precise growth strategy is important for every business. It’s like a ladder to your success.

In order to help you reach your maximum potential is this market, we at Dating Factory have decided to share our growth formula with everyone:

1. Set Real, Specific and Attainable Goals, Then Do Your Best to Make Them Become Reality
Knowing how to set clear and realistic marketing goals is of great importance in business. Well, not just in business – in life, as well. Goals help us visualize our problems and obstacle. They help us frame our dreams, desires, and ambitions into actionable and achievable plans.

Goals give us the luxury to really recognize what we need to do in order to elevate ourselves (our business) to the next level.

Even though this all sounds pretty simple and straightforward, a lot of people don’t really know how to set their goals in motion. They get super excited about, for example, generating an xy amount of new leads a month, but as soon as things get a bit tricky – these guys instantly abandon ship.

A lot of people drown in their own ambition before they even really start working on making their dreams become reality.

Why is that, you ask? – Well, because they don’t really focus on making their goals realistic or achievable. They focus on everything else, except how to make sure that their plans are something that can actually be accomplished, on a specific budget or time period.

In order to design achievable goals, you must make sure that they’re:
1. Performance, not outcome driven
2. Divided by importance
3. Realistic and achievable
4. Operational
Only then you’ll really see some progress in your business.

2. Invest in Your Overall Dating Website Design
One of the biggest challenges in business today is making your company stable. Especially if you’re interested in running a successful online dating business. In such an overcrowded and highly-competitive market – generating new customers is no easy task.

In order to rise above the crowd, your online presence needs to be flawless.

That’s why investing in your online presence is of crucial importance for your business. Your website is a representation of your business. It’s basically your digital office and visa card, all at the same time. Having that in mind, it’s quite logical to do your best in order to make it beautiful and professional.

Web design can make or break your brand online.

How come? – Well, because, everything moves fast on the Web. People are constantly bombarded with all sorts of different proposals. It doesn’t really matter if you’re looking for a dating community to join, a shirt to buy, or just a better web hosting provider for your site – once you type in the desired keywords in Search, millions of results will instantly appear in front of your eyes.

Naturally, you won’t go through every single one of them in order to find what you’re looking for. You’ll browse through a couple of sites and pick the one that seems best to you.

Same goes for your customers, as well. They have literally thousands of online dating sites to choose from. Same as you, they will pick the one whose design is the most modern and aesthetic. Why? – Simple, really. A beautiful sites is often considered to be quite reliable and trustworthy.

But what really makes a certain site “beautiful”? – A lot of things, actually. It’s overall looks, UX, and navigation.

That’s why we at Dating Factory take design quite seriously and use only proven templates. After A/B and split testing hundreds of different design layouts, we have figured out which ones work best. We use only the best converting design layouts. They’re all added to our platform. However, every client can customize design and layout to their liking in order to relate more to the audience he/she is targeting.

Man holding a red woolen heart concept for valentine’s day, business customer care, charity, social and corporate responsibility

3. Investing in Content Marketing – Know Your Audience, Put Your Data Into The Right Frameworks
When growing your business, one of the first and most important things you need to figure out is how to make the most of what you’ve already got. If you already have some users on your site, you’re on the right track. Yes, we know that this isn’t where you really want to be – but hear us out.

Having some users on your site means that you’re actually doing something good. You have something that’s interesting to people. That’s a great start. The only thing you really need to do now is investegate those users and figure out:

  1. Who they really are, what they like and dislike, where do they hang around
  2. What keeps them coming back to your website
  3. What makes you special in their eyes
  4. In their honest opinion, what you need to do in order to make your business even better

Once you figure all that out and see who are you actual users are (and why) – you can start to create intelligent messages that really speak volumes to your targeted audience.

This is where content marketing comes to shine.

Believe it or not, but our rich experience has taught us that nothing really beats a data-driven content marketing strategy.

Content marketing is extremely popular these days. A lot of brands are investing insane amounts of money into this particular type of marketing. Why? – Well, because, it works. It educates people and gives them enough reasons to prefer your brand in Search.

If done right, content marketing has the power to transform even the biggest and smallest outsider into real industry leaders. It’s an amazing strategy for pumping up brand awareness and stimulating people to actually give your service a chance.

In order to really make your content work, you really need to know your audience. You need to know how to really sell your dating community, without sounding salesy. Focus on the benefits. Write about what they want to hear, while demonstrating your unique values. Instead of pushing generic 500-600 word long articles, our advice is to figure out what your audience really wants and needs from you, and always over-deliver on that type content.

4. Be Omnipresent and Always Sharp – Rock Your Social Media Profiles
Everyone we know is constantly on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. It doesn’t really matter what you sell, the chances are – your customers often hangout on at least one of these social media channels.

That’s why you need to include social media in your strategy. Start with claiming your profiles on every major social media network and make sure that you’re always feeding your community with the right type of content that will stimulate them to recognize the value of your band and constantly create new conversions.

Think of social media networks as another Search Engines. Focus on keywords and feeding your users with versatile and valuable content, and I promise you – your efforts will start paying off in no time.
Being active on every social media channel is also great for SEO. Social media profiles rank in Search Engines. They also have the power to influence your ratings. Social media channels are for promoting websites and generating new traffic, both paid and organic. Regardless of what you sell or do, rocking your social media game should be an integral part of your overall promotion and marketing strategy.

Dating Sites

5. Media Buying, Paid Traffic
Online magazines, niche websites, big portals – appearing on sites that generate a lot of traffic and interest from your targeted audience should be one of your prime objectives in business. Knowing how and when to purchase certain digital real estate is a skill that every ambitious businessman should master ASAP.

We at Dating Factory know the importance behind tracking your effort in this particular department. That’s why we have made it possible for all our users to add all types of  tracking systems to their account and follow up on the performances of their creatives, according to their own goals and/or ROI.

In order to successfully buy some exposure that will bring new leads and traffic to your site, you first need to understand:

  1. Your targeted market – Who are you trying to reach and why? You need to know all the specifics of your desired crowd, so you’ll know where exactly to place your ads and banners.
  2. Focus on the visual – in this business, it’s all about the details. Believe it or not, but the overall success of your campaign is often dependent on those small things that people assume no one really cares about. You need to make your ad just right, if you want it to grab your potential user’s attention, and make him/her visit your website.
  3. Test and track everything – In order to truly win this game, you need to experiment a lot. And I do mean A LOT. You need to constantly track your efforts and analyze how your ads are performing. Only then will you truly know what’s working for you, and what’s is not.
  4. Fortune favours the brave – Even though marketers don’t like making uneducated guesses, sometimes you need to get a bit crazy and try out unorthodox ideas. It’s in your best interests to leave your comfort zone from time to time, and try out something that nobody else has tried before.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope these tips truly help you grow your online dating business from zero to hero! Register and start your online dating site.


See also: White Label Free Dating Sites Are Better Than Building Bespoke Or Custom Build


 

How to Promote and Market Your Dating Sites using YouTube

How to Market Your Dating Site on YouTube

If you use video to market your online dating business, you already know not much gets more traffic than YouTube. YouTube receives about 65 percent of all the video traffic in the world, so if you use video to market your business, you cannot ignore this site and get enough traffic to your dating website.

YouTube is the ultimate search engine and the second largest, and so you can find videos on just about any topic you are looking for. Besides, people love watching online video, so why not entertain your visitors and teach them something too about your white label dating business?

Why You Should Submit Dating Videos to YouTube Regularly

It doesn’t do much for your business to submit only one or two videos. The more videos you submit the better. Just make sure they are of a high quality. Do product tours of your dating site, how to guides, as well as reviews of affiliate products that complement your offering. Consider this a video press release. Give a few good tips about dating and show potential customers how it will help them solve their relationship problems or in the case of online dating – find love online.

Why Should You Recycle Your Dating YouTube Content

Do you write articles, blogs, free ebooks, or other content? Then turn this into a video. You can convert your dating content to a presentation. Then record the presentation while you explain the various bullet points. It’s a simple way to create your video. You’ll also find plenty of dating software programs available on the internet you can use to convert your content to video. This will save you a lot of time and help you get your content distributed more quickly to the World Wide Web.

How to Create Tags, Descriptions and Titles for Dating YouTube Videos

YouTube is a huge search engine with its own keyword tool. If you want to get the most from your videos, writing a keyword description, title and tags will help drive more traffic to your videos. It’s simple search engine optimization SEO, and it’s an easy way to get more traffic out of your videos. Use the YouTube keyword research tool to help you get ideas for videos as well as what keywords you should be using.

Why Should You Comment About Dating On YouTube

When you watch other YouTube videos, make sure you leave a comment or start a discussion. If you do this, it will get others looking at your dating videos. Notice I said start a discussion. You don’t want to start an argument because it could damage your business reputation. Make your comments informative and if you have a video that’s related, make sure you mention it. YouTube allows 500 characters per comment so pack as much information into your content as possible.

Why You Should Use Dating Videos As Replies To Other High Rank Relationship Videos

If you find a video that is related to your video, and the other video is getting a lot of traffic, then consider leaving a comment. This will increase your traffic because others will want to know what you have to say about the original video. It’s also good internal linking for YouTube, so this will help your video rank better.

YouTube is one of the best places to market your dating website and business because you can clearly illustrate what you are saying. Google loves YouTube and will rank your videos well in its search engine. It’s also a way for you to talk to your customers and introduce them to your dating site. You can build credibility with your visitors and future customers, giving you a chance to increase your sales, and what could be better than that?


 

How to Improve Your SEO SEM Using Social Median Platforms

Social media is usually fun but SEO can be boring. So how about using your social media to boost your Dating Site’s SEO/SEM? Sounds interesting, does it not? There are many ways you can actually use your social media online presence to benefit your dating sites search rankings.

This article will be serving as a guide on how you can use your strong social media existence and get noticed more often in the search results.

How to Customize Dating Site Build Links

Google has always given importance to link building. Previously it just used to be links with no importance given on the quality. This made life easier for a lot of marketers since they started stuffing their content with links of lesser quality. Google was quick to change its algorithm and now gives more importance to quality links.

Links on almost every major social media platform is considered quality. This is because social sites have higher web authority. This is the reason why your Facebook page might even stand better than your dating website in the search results. Make sure that a link to your website in included on every social profile that you have and also to include it in posts from time to time.

How to Get and Collect Your Social Media Followers

When it comes to huge number of followers, the numbers don’t only look good on your profile but also helps a great deal with your overall SEO strategy. Now, you don’t have to a celebrity to have thousands of followers – what you need to do is post relevant stuff and you will be automatically followed. Here it is also worth mentioning that correct use of hashtags (#) can also be very useful in building up your social media profiles.

Pages with high number of real followers are ranked high in search results. By real followers we mean followers who interact or engage with you at some level. Engagement and interactions might include retweets, favourites, sharing your post, commenting on your post, etc. These are also called social signals and play a vital role in improving your SEO. Search engines analyse your social media sites and signals to find out how often do you post and how do you interact with your followers.

Just make sure that everything you’re posting is relevant and continuous. This tactic will help you build a stronger followers base, which will in return improve your SEO.

Making Your Dating Site’s Content Attractive & More Visible

When it comes to sharing nothing beats Pinterest. In fact, if you are not willing to share on this great social media platform you will have nothing else to do.

There are many social media sites, which allow you to socialize privately, that is not everyone is allowed to interact with but only those you want to. Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc. all have privacy levels. Setting a higher privacy level, according to us is equivalent to killing the purpose of social media – especially when you talk about your dating business’s social media existence.

An ideal business social media page should be public, everything you share must reach maximum people, it should be searchable and inviting people to connect. Talking about Facebook in particular, there is an option which lets search engine sniff through your timeline. This option must be enabled in order to make your business more visible. To do this, go to Facebook’s privacy settings and enable “do you want other search engines to link to your timeline?”

The number of times your post gets shared increase your page’s visibility is search results. So, while sharing on social media, make sure that your content is shareable, attractive and posted at the right time.

Using Keywords Effectively in Social Media Posts

Keywords are probably the most important factor for any SEO campaign. You just can’t achieve your goals if you don’t know your keywords and not using them sensibly.

How to come up with keywords is something that trouble most digital marketers. The best way to find quality long and short keyword is by doing extensive research. This means, knowing more about your target and niche audience, what they are looking for online and how the majority of them use social media. You can use keywords on Facebook as hashtags or simply phrases, on Twitter and Pinterest as hashtags and so on… Using keywords in your post, status, tweet, blog post will actually bring more traffic to your social media pages and this in turn will help improving your SEO.

Local Listings are also Important

Last but not the least, it is very important for any dating business – no matter what type to have listing on Google +. Here you must include your important information like address, website and contact details etc. People who are looking for your company specifically, on Google will be seeing this information. You can also ask some of your customers to leave a review on your Google + page as Google always ranks pages with quality and organic reviews.

Social media is a great tool for any type of online marketing campaign and also has a great influence in improving the overall SEO of your business’s online face.

Constant changes to the search engine’s algorithm make it hard for online marketers to use the best practice and stay on top but SEO is way too important to even think about avoiding and when it comes to social media playing its part in improving the SEO – it can really make a big impact on your search rankings and your online dating business.


See also: How to Use and Measure Social Media for Internet Dating Sites