How to Make Women Chase You.

Most men shoot themselves in the foot by pursuing women aggressively, a.k.a. “chasing” them. Not only does this behavior turn a woman off, but it completely destroys any possibility that the woman will chase you.

In any relationship, at the beginning, one party is going to be more interested than the other. As a guy, it’s always better for you if the girl is more interested in you than you are in her. Here’s how to make sure that women chase you rather than vice-versa:

1) Go Slow At First

When you first start dating, or even just talking to a woman you’re interested in, you want to take it really slow. Don’t be all up in her business 24/7 asking her to hang-out, texting her, bringing her little presents or whatever. Instead, act casual. Don’t treat her like you think she’s a big deal. Act like she’s just some girl you know.

2) Give Her Space

If you meet a woman at a bar, don’t suffocate her with your attention. The mistake most guys make is that when they find a girl who is willing to talk to them, they stick on her like a piece of lint from that moment on. They stay by her all night, they ignore everybody else, and they basically act like she is the focal point of their entire universe. Bad, bad, bad!

Instead, talk to her for a minute and then turn to your friend or the guy next to you at the bar and start talking to them. Or go take a leak, or whatever and then go back to the girl. This way she’ll be thinking “hmmm? I wonder if he’s going to come back?”

The same thing goes when you’ve just started dating a woman. Keep doing the stuff you were doing before you met her, like going out with your friends… Don’t try to see her every day.

3) Date Other Girls

When you’re dating new women all the time, you send out a totally different vibe than a guy who doesn’t date much. You’ll seem relaxed and content, not anxious and horny like some guy who hasn’t gotten laid in 10 years.

Also, a woman is way more likely to chase you if she thinks you date a lot. If she thinks you’re all hers, she’ll wait for you to call her. If she thinks she has competition she’ll be thinking, “What is he doing right now? I hope he’s not with that blonde he was talking to… Dammit I should give him a call!”

Of course you shouldn’t mention the other girls you are dating, just act like it’s assumed. You don’t even need to be dating anyone else for this to work. Just act like you are. Try to develop an abundance mindset towards dating.

While dating multiple girls is easier said than done, once you have three or four girls you are seeing, new ones will just seek you out and start chasing you because you are putting out this crazy stud vibe that women can’t resist.

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Why Single Women Want Good Sex and Romance.

To be more correct, single women don’t want sex – they want good sex and romance. Women’s desires are much greater than most men realize. But, unlike men, who are just after sex, single women are looking for great sexual experiences. Single women are very discriminating and choosy in picking sexual partners.

They are only interested in having a sexual encounter with a partner that:

Sexually arouses them.
Promises, by his manner or image or personality, to be “good in bed.”
Single women want exciting, provocative, imaginative partners who will lead them through great sexual experiences. Though their sexual desire may be very high, they will pass up just any sexual encounter waiting to find the one that promises to be special.

The fact that single women are choosy about who they go to bed with and have sex with is a dilemma for men, but there is one good aspect to this trait. Single women, once they do choose, tend to stay with him, and are reluctant to change partners. Single women know that good sex is hard to find, so once they have it, they would rather hang on to that relationship than go back out into the market place. Keep in mind this propensity to stay in a relationship because sex exists only as long as the sex is good.

The last thought in this section is something that we have come to realize is a cardinal rule to be used in reading women. That is: SINGLE WOMEN HAVE SEX WITH MEN WHO THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. At first, this phrase may sound too simple and obvious to have any wisdom to it, but let us expand on it.

The meaning behind it is, that if a woman decides that she would like to sleep with someone, she will pursue that person relentlessly. And on the other hand, if a woman has decided that she is not interested in sleeping with someone, no amount of pursuit or persuasion is going to move her. Many men have wasted their precious time and energy by ignoring this reality.

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Struggling to get woman for a date? Here is some tips on “How to Get Women to Date You”

Hey Joseph,

I was reading The Art of Approaching, under the online openers. And the one where you send an email saying how you’re good looking, funny, etc., then modest, I used that on a girl and she responded very well to it.

But since then it’s been very ho-hum. I can’t get to meeting her. All I got is her AIM screenname. But I don’t know how to take it to the next step. I know that I have to meet her if I want anything to happen, but I don’t know how it should be done. I need your help.

– Stephen


Hi Stephen,

First of all — of COURSE that email got a great response! That’s one of my patented internet dating techniques.

(You know I’d never share something with you that DOESN’T work!)

But you seem to be running into a common problem that most guys who are dating on the internet eventually run into…

THE TRANSITION!

You know, the part where you move from online to offline.

In a way, it’s really no different from setting up a date after meeting a woman in the real world.

See, when it comes to first contact, be it email, telephone, or a cold approach, you should always be thinking of one thing…

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The Date!

Get her to agree to meet with you. Period.

Until that happens, it isn’t real. She’s either not serious or not interested until she commits to a date.

When it comes to email, the trick is to get her on the phone as soon as possible. You could say something like:

Hey, great. You’re a real person. Now that we’ve established that, let’s talk. This email thing is for the birds. You can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. But try to call before 10, because that’s when my mom makes me go to sleep. =)

If you’re comfortable with it, you can give me your number and make me do all the dirty work.

Talk soon,

(your name here)

Once you get her on the phone and you’re able to establish some rapport, then you can set up a date to meet.

Make it something low-pressure so she’ll feel comfortable. Something like getting coffee or a drink. This will give you two a chance to get to know each other and see if it’s worth going forward.

The same is true when meeting a girl in person.

Lots of guys like to try and go for the phone number right away.

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But why?

I look at the phone number as a “last resort.”

This is because you want to get her to go out with you AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

If she’s up for it, take her out right then and there. Ask her if she’s got time for a quick cup of coffee.

If not, try and set up a date right there. Ask her if she’s free the next night or that very weekend.

Once the date is set up, then exchange your numbers.

Or, if she’s not immediately available, THEN ask her for her number and try calling to set up the date.

Remember: Move fast and with purpose.

Until she goes out with you, she’s not really committed to having a romantic encounter.

The WORST thing you can do is hesitate and draw out asking her to meet you again.

Lots of girls will begin to wonder if you’re really interested if you don’t ask her out. So don’t wait. Seize the opportunity when you have the chance.

If you’re really serious about getting more dates than you can handle, you really need to learn my secrets.

You could be letting the woman of your dreams slip through your fingers if you don’t act right this second.

Don’t waste another minute. You don’t know if you’ll get that chance again.

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Have you ever wondered how to talk to woman?

By golly, you’ve actually met a woman.

Maybe you’re in bar. Maybe you’re at the gym or laundromat. Maybe she’s someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you’re actually out on a date.

In any event, now you’ve got to do something scary, something unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end one before it even gets started. YOU’VE GOT TO TALK TO HER.

What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can’t think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the “right” thing to say? Do you have a clue?

Most guys don’t. When your average gent converses with a woman, he’s basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will “connect” with the woman and make her fall for him.

Needless to say, this is not the “Don Juan” way of doing things.

You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works and what doesn’t, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don’t want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.

And that’s what we’re going to discuss right now.

Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular article focuses on the conversational TOPICS that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost GUARANTEE increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the option, IF YOU SO DESIRE, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic relationship.

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Are you getting excited?

Okay, so WHAT exactly do you talk about?

Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently err by talking TOO MUCH. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they’re “impressing” the women when, in reality, they’re “depressing” the women.

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you’re saying doesn’t necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away… and never come back.

So key number one is DON’T TALK SO MUCH! Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to LISTEN to what SHE has to say. Remember, everyone is incredibly interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves for as long as you will listen.

So stop worrying about what you’re going to say next. Focus all your attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying to you. Try to visualize or “feel” what she’s saying.

This does take a little effort. It’s not very hard to do, but it’s not something that men “naturally” do. You simply have to concentrate.

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Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any “seeds” or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle hints that women give that point to conversational topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss.

An example:

Bob: You come here often?
Kim: Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florida.
Bob: Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It’s pretty crowded tonight.

Bob is clueless.

Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It’s almost as if she’s testing him to see if he has the intelligence or social skills to capitalize on what she says. Bob fails.

So what would be the “right” thing to say?

Well… she mentions that this is her first time in the club and she just moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly “watered the seeds” by asking a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there? f) What’s it like there?

Kim’s two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up on. Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated that she’d like to talk about. But Bob was too worried about himself. Too worried about the impression he was making. Too worried about what to say next to LISTEN to what she said.

Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to say next because the other person is “telling” you exactly what to say.

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How to Change Your Love Life TODAY!

Every morning when you wake up, I want you to say TODAY’S THE DAY I will do something about my love life.

Today’s the day I will go to the mall and buy a new shirt and pants for meeting Miss Perfect.

Today’s the day I will smile at all women I meet.

Today’s the day I will go to Barnes and Noble and buy “How to Speak to Girls.”

Today’s the day because the future is built on TODAY. The past is gone and tomorrow isn’t born yet. Today is right in your hands. Today’s the day you will finally make that move.

Every day in March say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in April say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in May say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in June say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in July say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in Audust say TODAY’S THE DAY.

On the Forth of July, when you are near a group of girls say to yourself TODAY’S THE DAY I will start a conversation. Suddenly you will feel a power from inside and it will be stronger than ever before. You will say “I can. I can do it. I feel it. I RULE!”

You see your target. You walk over to her. You say, “What’s your name?” You offer to get her some punch. You feel the power and you make your verbal moves. Soon you can’t believe what you are hearing:

“It’s 999-9999, and that’s Patti with an ‘i’.”

Then a little voice inside tells you “TODAY WAS THE DAY.”

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How to Kiss a Girl and Never Get Rejected.

You’re about to learn, hands down, the best way to successfully get a girl to kiss you without fear of rejection. In the advanced version of this technique, you can even get the girl you’re talking to to lean in to kiss you!

So if you’ve ever been afraid of getting rejected going for a kiss OR you’ve gotten “the cheek” you know why having a rock-solid technique to moving in for the kiss is 100% crucial.

Going in for the kiss is probably the worst place to face rejection in an interaction with a girl because:

You’ve invested a lot of TIME by this point in the interaction, and there simply isn’t enough time in your night to get this far and then hit a brick wall and have to move on.
Screwing up this part of the interaction can ruin all chances of moving on from here to seduction.
Most guys don’t have the chance to learn how to perfect going for a kiss because it happens so infrequently!

Even on a good night, most guys will typically find one girl they hit it off with at the bar where a kiss is probably even a possibility.

So normally, you’d have to face a lot of these rejections one by one to learn the best way to successfully go in for a kiss.

But luckily, I’ve already gone through all those failures for you (until I discovered this killer technique), and can present the best way to avoid failure and shortcut right to success.

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Sound good?

The Kiss Technique makes it so that when you’re speaking to a woman, you can intentionally give off subconscious triggers that will make her think about kissing you!

Pretty powerful stuff…

If You Use This Technique, Suddenly Making a Woman Want to Kiss You Will Be Something You Have Control Over

If you decide to “wing it” in the stage like most guys, however, you’re going to run into problems…

First, you won’t know how physically receptive she is to kissing you. A tried and true rule to go by is this:

Your hesitation = Her reservation

So the more you hesitate, the worse your chances get, because she starts to build up all sorts of red flags and reservations.

When you go to lean in for the kiss and you don’t do it the right way at the right time, you’ll come off as needy (like you don’t have a lot of options with women) because if you did have a lot of options, you wouldn’t be worrying about the kiss with this girl.

So how do we show that you are absolutely NOT needy (even if you kind of feel like you are) and provide a way so that you will not fear rejection because you will know for sure ahead of time that she is wanting to kiss you?

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We use what’s called The Kiss Technique.

This involves combining two psychological concepts into a perfect recipe for mastering the kiss.

The First Concept Is Called Triangular Gazing

This will happen while you have built rapport and are looking to move into seduction. It involves looking from one eye to another, then looking at her mouth.

When you start looking at her mouth, you will subconsciously start to think about kissing her, because this action is already anchored to the thought of kissing someone.

Even if you look at a woman you’re not attracted to and look at her mouth, you can start to think about kissing her, and you will become MORE attracted to her.

The good news is…the same happens for women.

The even BETTER news is…you can lead her to subconsciously start to do this and feel more attracted. How?

By using the second half of the recipe…another psychological concept called Mirroring.

Whenever we are in conversation with someone, we will mirror the leader of the conversation in an attempt to build subconscious rapport with them.

When you perfectly combine triangular gazing and mirroring, you have a combination that will…

Make Her Subconsciously Think About Kissing You

After talking with her in rapport, start to look at her mouth. At first, only for 2 seconds, then look back to her eyes. Switch between her left and right eye, then back to her mouth for a few seconds longer.

Continue to go from left to right eye and back to her mouth for 2 seconds, 3 seconds, then 5 seconds.

Eventually, you want to be mostly looking at her mouth.

When she begins to look at your mouth as well, you know for sure that she’s ready to kiss you.

Voila! The Kiss Technique takes all of the guess work out of “making a move”.

You will now know with confidence when she wants to kiss you, and get to be the fully assertive but perceptive man that women find irresistibly sexy.

She will feel like you know exactly how to treat a woman and feel safe and confident moving on with you.

Now, if you want to take this technique to the next level and make it so that girls will be leaning in to you and basically begging you to kiss them, you only have to know one magical sentence.

Learn more about The Kiss Technique and the bizarre, magical sentence that activates her “sexual triggers” and makes her lean and practically beg you for the kiss.

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How to Eliminate Neediness and Desperation From Your Personality.

If you are a regular guest, I’m sure by now you are well aware of the fact that women are not attracted to guys who crave too much attention from them and despair around members of the fairer sex.

Simply put neediness and desperation is an instant turn-off for women.

So yeah, if you are an aspiring Don Juan you must never display traits of neediness or desperation to women such as calling her often, pouring out all your feelings when you barely even know her, etc.

“Aaah, I already know that,” or “Easier said than done” you might be saying right now.

The Best Way to Eliminate Neediness

Without wasting much time let me introduce you to the best technique you can use to completely rid yourself of the needy-and-desperate you that sets women on their heels every time.

To erase the neediness and desperation that’s setting you back in the dating game you must adopt one important principle: LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT WOMEN.

I deduced this from a core principle of mine: To attract women you must learn to live without women.

You must be saying to yourself “WTF?” or asking yourself “What does this have to do with eliminating neediness and desperation?”

Allow me to explain.

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Women Can Smell Your Desperation

You know most guys cannot survive without that one call or text from a certain girl each day and act as if their own happiness depends on that one girl. Most guys can’t stand being single and will completely freak out or break down if they get dumped or a relationship ends.

Weak, desperate, needy, clingy, and desperate guys carry this mindset around and it’s a big reason they don’t have the success with women they really want.

Whatever is happening in your mind shows up in your behavior — WOMEN SMELL YOUR DESPERATION!

So instead of being needy, if you’re not freaking out and OK with not having a girlfriend, women will see you as laid back, cool, collected, calm, and confident and it’ll earn you cool points with the ones you want.

You must never depend on any girl for your own happiness. As such, your life must be stress-free, blissful and happy even without women. Never “need’ a girl or woman to be happy.

Take a Break From Dating Women

Honestly, life has millions of things to offer other than the female sex. Indulge in these worthwhile activities. Take a break from dating women for a while.

Read more and subsequently improve your vocabulary and knowledge.
Be informed on current political, social and economic issues.
Dedicate some of your time to your family (and trust me, you’ll never regret this!).
Go out and meet other people, both women and men from all walks of life. Never mind the age, background or culture. This will not only widen your social circle but gives you several perspectives on life that will one day prove useful.
Work on your style and fashion sense.
Take note of your body and work towards improving your health.
Find one thing you can do better than most people and make something of it.
Work on the things you are bad at.
Start a business, put everything you’ve got into it and watch it grow (you’ll love it when you start to see the dollar bills rolling in).
And in everything you do don’t be fazed by failure.
You’ll be happy with yourself and where you are in life because all your successes did not “need” a woman or a working relationship.

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Attractive to Women

You might be asking yourself “How exactly is this attractive to women?”

If you don’t want to come across to a woman as a needy and desperate guy, you must be comfortable with a life excluding that very girl you are trying to attract.

It’s simple — once you get the hang of living a dating-free life, you come across to women as a guy who is sure of himself, confident even without a working relationship, and very different from the rest.

Besides, once you are happy being single, girls will notice and wonder how come you are so sure of yourself and will naturally want a share of your happiness. If you are comfortable being single you’ll convey the message that “Baby, whether you reject me or not, I don’t care because I don’t need you to be happy”.

She will know that saying no will be her loss not yours because you don’t “need” her.

Once you get at that stage where you are perfectly happy single, it’s the women who’ll be doing the chasing.

So yeah, if you wanna be a chick magnet, remove girls from your life and start pursuing other things.

Learn to live without women.

Just don’t stay single for too long. Because there are way too many girls on this earth and life’s too short. So you’ll have to juggle dating and other activities.

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Here are the Most Powerful Girl-Gettin’ Technique of All Time !!

I’m browsing through a Pier 1 Imports store, checking out the many cool and unique items.

I’m feeling good — very good, in fact. It’s hot, the sun is shining, and there’s some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)

I’m bouncing through the store, a big smile on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the “bachelor pad.”

I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I’ve ever seen. She’s been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, she startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.

I smile to myself.

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Then I just laugh.

I knew this one was going to be easy. My “work” was already done.

She hadn’t just noticed me, she had seen me HAPPY. She had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smile on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, almost like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming she wasn’t married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was pretty much assured.

I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later she comes over to see if I need any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and we both went on our merry little ways… just a little bit happier than we were before.

It really doesn’t get any easier.

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It really doesn’t have to be all that hard.

At this site we talk about a lot of cool and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. And these are cool, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.

But we often ignore and overlook some of the most basic “techniques.” And that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman’s heart, mind, and imagination — and that’s simply the power of happiness.

Happiness attracts!

Happiness will get you women!

And nothing is easier or more powerful!

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NO, not even the “confidence” that we so frequently discuss.

A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of course, that being said, happiness and confidence almost always go together. Happy guys are generally pretty confident guys, and confident guys are generally pretty happy guys.

There’s not a perfect correlation, but they’re related enough that it’s reasonable to assume that if we can increase our level of happiness, then we’d most likely also increase our level of confidence. And vice versa.

So rather than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have quite a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.

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You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are just getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, rarely excited. So when they meet someone who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they’re intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.

They want to try to get some of that happiness for themselves!

And this is especially true for women.

Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don’t think logically like you and me. They like, want, NEED to feel things. So if you can capture a woman’s emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude “happiness” wherever you go, she’ll do just about anything to get you, and just about anything to keep you.

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So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I’m Doing Great! You are going to be her happiness drug, her “fix.” And friends, when you are not around, she’s going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!

You are NOT going to be like everyone else… one of the many, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. You are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your “soul mate” to make your life wonderful and complete…

…like 98% of the people in this world!!

You are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. You are going to be what they are looking for. You are going to be a Don Juan.

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I can hear some of you: “I understand what you’re saying, and you’re right. But I’m not really all that happy. I’m lonely. My life is dull. I’m tired of watching television. I’m tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I’d be happy. Heck, that’s why I came to this site.”

And you’re right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, especially one that really rocks your world. Girls is good stuff to have around, no doubt about it.

And, by the way, that’s one of the reasons for the “feast or famine” dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.

It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you’re either surrounded by women who are all shamelessly throwing themselves at you… or you’re surrounded by women who are all doing their best to completely ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn’t really seem to be much of a middle ground.

You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.

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Of course one of the primary reasons for this is the “happiness” factor. When you’re seeing that special girl that really gets your griddle sizzlin, you’re happy, much happier than your usual self… and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls want to find out more, and other girls want to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.

At this point, it’s easy. You don’t even really have to try. You’re on the verge of Don Juanism… at least temporarily.

On the other hand, when you’re lonely, depressed, bored, desperate… you “show it” — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls want nothing to do with you. They’ve got enough unhappiness and misery of their own. They don’t need to be worrying about you as well.

So yes I can understand you wanting to find someone special in order to be happy. That is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.

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If you’re looking for someone else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you “complete”, then you’re doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you’re doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it’s still wrong.

So wrong.

Just wrong.

Don Juans don’t pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. And then “pick and choose” amongst all the incredible women who are now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the goal.

This is the Holy Grail of dating.

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“Just Be Yourself” Is Bad Advice and Here’s Why !!

Every day I’m emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read hundreds of new posts in the SoSuave Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all.

The basic. The advanced. The good. The bad. And the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it’s in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old hs freshman… is JUST BE YOURSELF.

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If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it’s just the opposite. “Just Be Yourself” is the one tip I’ll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on – because I’m a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.

Be Very Careful Whose Advice You Follow

JBY is the advice you’re most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

It doesn’t matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married — it’s the stock relationship answer when one doesn’t know or can’t think of anything else to say… but doesn’t want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They’ll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it’s the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.

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But they have to say something, right? And besides, they’ve been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority… as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug!

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you’ve been “just being yourself” your entire life and it’s pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven’t even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they’ll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — “You just have to be patient and eventually you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.”

Oh, and don’t forget, “And if it doesn’t work out between you and her, than it wasn’t meant to be.”

Be yourself – patience – faith. That’s about the extent of the advice you’re likely to receive.

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I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who’s been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months… and never gets a second date? A person who’s lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who’s obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he’s been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

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This would be useful advice!

But then we’d run into another problem.

A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he’s always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV… because, after all, he’s the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV. He’s just being himself!

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it’s certainly not about pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s about becoming the person that you want to be. It’s about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It’s about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I’ve gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand “the game” better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives… their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even think the whole idea of “learning” how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn’t need “tricks and gimmicks” to do well with women.

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Those Friends of Yours

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be “friends” first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.

In other words, these friends don’t have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Why are they like this? Why can’t they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can’t they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple “tactics” could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they’re lazy!

It’s All About Self-Improvement

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement oftentimes involves work. Take a look at all the info here at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

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Make no mistake about it… you’re not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, “Oh well. I guess I’m just not much of a basketball player. But I’m sure there must be something else I can do.”?

I don’t think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

He wanted to be great. He decided that he was going to be great. And then he made himself great!

What Do Women Do?

What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?

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You tell me…

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.

And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women’s magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

They’re having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They’re learning the “game” and how to play it… and very, very well.

We’re busy JBYing… and they’re researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

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Is it any wonder that YOU’RE having so much trouble with women?

I think not. In fact, I think being an “idiot” is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.

And that’s why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who’ve dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!

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Why are woman not attracted to nice guys … find the truth here !!

You finally, for once in your life try being cocky and funny with a girl — and she eats it up — and then you ask if you should do it again?

Here are a couple of great formulas for you to remember:

Cold Feet = Cold Other Things Below The Waist
The Usual Nice Guy Routine = See Formula #1
Let’s talk about these ideas.

He’s Nice

If you ever hear a woman say the words “He’s nice” you can pull out all the money you have on you and bet that she’s not ATTRACTED to the guy she’s talking about.

Women don’t use the word “Nice” to describe men that they’re FEELING it for.

So why would you want to use the “usual nice guy routine”? What, you want to make SURE she never feels anything other than friendship for you?

Hmmmmm.

What you’re telling me here is that you knew this super-babe four years ago, but the “nice guy” rap didn’t make anything happen then… so you’re thinking that if you pour it on twice as thick it might work better this time?

Hmmmmm.

Do Something Different

Here’s a good rule of thumb:

If your behavior isn’t getting you the consistent results that you’d like to get, CHANGE IT.

Do ANYTHING different.

I’m serious here.

If what you’re doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING ELSE IMMEDIATELY!

And if you’ve FOUND SOMETHING that works, then KEEP DOING IT!

(Hint: In case you haven’t figured it out, I think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the words “nice guy” translate into “ICE-NAY UY-GAY” in Pig Latin.

Read that again, because it was pretty funny.

In summary, I think you might want to stick with the cocky+funny personality. It’s working for more than a few guys out there, and it can work for you (as you’ve seen).

Be Nice — But Don’t Be a Nice Guy

On a side topic…

From the way I talk, you might start to get the idea that I’m against being nice to women.

Quite the contrary.

I think that it’s great to be nice to women.

Just do it in a way that doesn’t make them think of you as a “nice guy.”

Oh, that sounds interesting.

So the question is:

How can I be nice without making her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a hundred dollars just to have one quick dig through her dresser?

I just figured out how to say this in a simple, concise way… so listen up:

Be cocky and funny, and bust her balls with your words, but be nice to her with your behavior!

Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.

So here are…

A Few Examples

1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom, then open all doors for her.

2) Tell her that she’s too uptight and she needs to settle down because it’s annoying, then rub her shoulders.

3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then kiss her.

Are you with me?

One of the concepts that I talk about in my book Double Your Dating is ALWAYS SEND MIXED MESSAGES.

Why would you want to send mixed messages?

Because it’s interesting.

Double Your Dating

Because if it’s done right, it’s attractive.

Because attractive women are fascinated by it when it’s mixed with a cocky/funny personality.

I hope that those reasons work for you.

Attractive Women Are Looking for Something Different

Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss up to them, buy them things, take them out, and act “nice”.

Attractive women are looking for something different.

A challenge. A spark. Sassy, cheeky, mouthy, ballsy, witty, charming. An unpredictable, funny guy like yourself to take her attention, and run with it.

Now, how unpredictable is “nice”?

How much of a challenge is “nice”?

How much of a spark is in “nice”?

Exactly. Not much.

So, in summary: Be nice… but do it on your own terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY AND FUNNY COMMUNICATION.

This magical combination with keep her interest for as long as you’d like to have it.

Remember This

Attractive women are different. They know that they can have anything they want. SO DON’T GIVE IT TO THEM… and they’ll love you.

Does this sound “counter-intuitive” to you?

Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.

Remember this:

You need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.

Now, where does this all begin?

It begins with YOU.

And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you needing to understand the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other. It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

And what’s the best way to get this “in depth” education?

Visit our Dating Sites now!