How to Make Women Chase You.

Most men shoot themselves in the foot by pursuing women aggressively, a.k.a. “chasing” them. Not only does this behavior turn a woman off, but it completely destroys any possibility that the woman will chase you.

In any relationship, at the beginning, one party is going to be more interested than the other. As a guy, it’s always better for you if the girl is more interested in you than you are in her. Here’s how to make sure that women chase you rather than vice-versa:

1) Go Slow At First

When you first start dating, or even just talking to a woman you’re interested in, you want to take it really slow. Don’t be all up in her business 24/7 asking her to hang-out, texting her, bringing her little presents or whatever. Instead, act casual. Don’t treat her like you think she’s a big deal. Act like she’s just some girl you know.

2) Give Her Space

If you meet a woman at a bar, don’t suffocate her with your attention. The mistake most guys make is that when they find a girl who is willing to talk to them, they stick on her like a piece of lint from that moment on. They stay by her all night, they ignore everybody else, and they basically act like she is the focal point of their entire universe. Bad, bad, bad!

Instead, talk to her for a minute and then turn to your friend or the guy next to you at the bar and start talking to them. Or go take a leak, or whatever and then go back to the girl. This way she’ll be thinking “hmmm? I wonder if he’s going to come back?”

The same thing goes when you’ve just started dating a woman. Keep doing the stuff you were doing before you met her, like going out with your friends… Don’t try to see her every day.

3) Date Other Girls

When you’re dating new women all the time, you send out a totally different vibe than a guy who doesn’t date much. You’ll seem relaxed and content, not anxious and horny like some guy who hasn’t gotten laid in 10 years.

Also, a woman is way more likely to chase you if she thinks you date a lot. If she thinks you’re all hers, she’ll wait for you to call her. If she thinks she has competition she’ll be thinking, “What is he doing right now? I hope he’s not with that blonde he was talking to… Dammit I should give him a call!”

Of course you shouldn’t mention the other girls you are dating, just act like it’s assumed. You don’t even need to be dating anyone else for this to work. Just act like you are. Try to develop an abundance mindset towards dating.

While dating multiple girls is easier said than done, once you have three or four girls you are seeing, new ones will just seek you out and start chasing you because you are putting out this crazy stud vibe that women can’t resist.

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Have you ever wondered how to talk to woman?

By golly, you’ve actually met a woman.

Maybe you’re in bar. Maybe you’re at the gym or laundromat. Maybe she’s someone you know from work. Or maybe, even, you’re actually out on a date.

In any event, now you’ve got to do something scary, something unpredictable, something with the power to launch a future romantic relationship, or end one before it even gets started. YOU’VE GOT TO TALK TO HER.

What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can’t think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the “right” thing to say? Do you have a clue?

Most guys don’t. When your average gent converses with a woman, he’s basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will “connect” with the woman and make her fall for him.

Needless to say, this is not the “Don Juan” way of doing things.

You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works and what doesn’t, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don’t want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.

And that’s what we’re going to discuss right now.

Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular article focuses on the conversational TOPICS that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost GUARANTEE increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the option, IF YOU SO DESIRE, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic relationship.

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Are you getting excited?

Okay, so WHAT exactly do you talk about?

Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently err by talking TOO MUCH. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they’re “impressing” the women when, in reality, they’re “depressing” the women.

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you’re saying doesn’t necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away… and never come back.

So key number one is DON’T TALK SO MUCH! Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to LISTEN to what SHE has to say. Remember, everyone is incredibly interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves for as long as you will listen.

So stop worrying about what you’re going to say next. Focus all your attention and energy on listening to what the woman is saying to you. Try to visualize or “feel” what she’s saying.

This does take a little effort. It’s not very hard to do, but it’s not something that men “naturally” do. You simply have to concentrate.

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Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any “seeds” or free information she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle hints that women give that point to conversational topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss.

An example:

Bob: You come here often?
Kim: Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florida.
Bob: Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It’s pretty crowded tonight.

Bob is clueless.

Kim gives him plenty of free information to follow up on. It’s almost as if she’s testing him to see if he has the intelligence or social skills to capitalize on what she says. Bob fails.

So what would be the “right” thing to say?

Well… she mentions that this is her first time in the club and she just moved here from Florida. Bob could have properly “watered the seeds” by asking a) How does she like the club, band, etc? b) What brought her here from Florida? c) How long has she been in the area? d) Where in Florida is she from? e) How long was she there? f) What’s it like there?

Kim’s two short sentences gave Bob tons of information to follow up on. Tons of conversational topics that she has indirectly indicated that she’d like to talk about. But Bob was too worried about himself. Too worried about the impression he was making. Too worried about what to say next to LISTEN to what she said.

Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to say next because the other person is “telling” you exactly what to say.

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How to Change Your Love Life TODAY!

Every morning when you wake up, I want you to say TODAY’S THE DAY I will do something about my love life.

Today’s the day I will go to the mall and buy a new shirt and pants for meeting Miss Perfect.

Today’s the day I will smile at all women I meet.

Today’s the day I will go to Barnes and Noble and buy “How to Speak to Girls.”

Today’s the day because the future is built on TODAY. The past is gone and tomorrow isn’t born yet. Today is right in your hands. Today’s the day you will finally make that move.

Every day in March say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in April say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in May say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in June say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in July say TODAY’S THE DAY.

Every day in Audust say TODAY’S THE DAY.

On the Forth of July, when you are near a group of girls say to yourself TODAY’S THE DAY I will start a conversation. Suddenly you will feel a power from inside and it will be stronger than ever before. You will say “I can. I can do it. I feel it. I RULE!”

You see your target. You walk over to her. You say, “What’s your name?” You offer to get her some punch. You feel the power and you make your verbal moves. Soon you can’t believe what you are hearing:

“It’s 999-9999, and that’s Patti with an ‘i’.”

Then a little voice inside tells you “TODAY WAS THE DAY.”

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The Step-by-Step Guide to the Perfect Approach

Imagine you are taking a walk in the city.

The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day. Or let’s say that it could be a beautiful day if you wouldn’t see so many beautiful women. It’s pure torture. You see one stunning girl after another and they all walk around in short dresses.

You would give everything to talk to one of these girls, to make her smile, and to take her out on a date.

But you are too afraid.

You can’t even remember the last time you approached a woman. Just the idea of approaching a woman makes you want to throw up. You don’t know how to stand, what to say, or when to ask her for her number. If you only knew these things, you would be way more confident.

Don’t you think it’s time to learn the steps of the perfect approach?

1. Overcome Approach Anxiety

Yes, you can approach thousands of women and desensitize yourself to the experience of talking to beautiful women. That can work. But there’s an easier way and it starts in your mind.

Most men are so afraid of approaching women that their mind produces one horror scenario after another. As a result, approaching women becomes a burden instead of an exciting experience.

What’s the solution? Change your focus. Instead of focusing on all the negative things that could happen, you focus on achieving your goals. Imagine how it would feel to kiss a beautiful woman at the end of the date. If you leave your house with this image in mind, you can’t lose.

2. Have Fun When You Go Out

What do most guys do when they go out to approach women?

They are determined to get a few numbers and they try to look as cool as possible. As a result, they look aggressive and way too serious.

That’s not how you get girls. Girls want to date fun guys who love to have a good time. They want a playful adventurer. And in order to become this fun and playful man, you need to realize that approaching gorgeous women is not different than approaching any other person.

3. Don’t Hesitate

Men who hesitate masturbate.

It makes me cringe when I go to a bar and I see a bunch of guys who are staring at a girl without doing anything. The only thing you have to do in such a situation is to walk up to her and say hi.

Not hesitating is the best way to set yourself apart from all the other men who stand there and don’t take action.

4. Be Friendly and Charming

Unfortunately, a lot of guys take the advice to be alpha a bit too far. They confuse being a strong leader with looking like an Uruk-hai from The Lord of The Rings. Sorry, but looking like a mass murderer is not a good idea, at least not when you want to get dates with beautiful women.

Instead of being as alpha as possible, you should test how it is to be as friendly as possible.

Think about it. The moment you approach a woman she doesn’t know whether you are a genuine man or a rapist. You are a complete stranger and being friendly helps her to become comfortable around you.

5. Give Her a Compliment

There are a lot of misconceptions about giving women compliments. And yes, while giving compliments in a needy way can backfire, giving them with confidence can be extremely attractive.

The problem that a lot of guys who avoid giving compliments have is that the women they talk to don’t know what they actually want. When you give her a compliment she knows what you want. This can save you a lot of time.

6. Connect With Her

Every man who wants to approach women should also know how to connect with them. Women want to feel something before they allow a man to seduce them and connection is what triggers these feelings.

But don’t worry. It’s not that hard to connect with women. It’s a simple three-step process.

Share your hobbies and passion with her.
Ask her about her hobbies and passion.
Refer her hobbies and passion to yourself.
That’s how you connect with women.

7. Have a Natural Conversation

A natural conversation flows. There are no uncomfortable pauses and you don’t just switch the topic without a reason.

Keep these things in mind when you talk to women. Don’t just talk about a topic because you want to talk about it and don’t just ask for her number because you promised yourself to get it in less than five minutes.

Let the conversation flow.

8. Read Her Signs

Women are not evil. They want you to succeed. In case you’ve watched the movie Hitch, you know that no woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today”.

When a woman likes you, she will let you know.

The only problem is that a lot of men are blind to the signals of women. Most men don’t even notice when a woman plays with her hair or bites her lips. I hope you are one of the few men who are aware of these signals.

9. Don’t Ask for Her Number

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is to ask for a girl’s number. Okay, asking is better than walking away with no phone number, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a more effective technique.

Don’t ask for her number. Demand her number.

Women are somehow conditioned to say no when a guy asks them for their number. She doesn’t feel the same pressure when you tell her to put her number into your phone. Say it with confidence and she will do it.

10. Enjoy Your First Date

Just keep your smartphone in your pocket and enjoy your date.

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How to Eliminate Neediness and Desperation From Your Personality.

If you are a regular guest, I’m sure by now you are well aware of the fact that women are not attracted to guys who crave too much attention from them and despair around members of the fairer sex.

Simply put neediness and desperation is an instant turn-off for women.

So yeah, if you are an aspiring Don Juan you must never display traits of neediness or desperation to women such as calling her often, pouring out all your feelings when you barely even know her, etc.

“Aaah, I already know that,” or “Easier said than done” you might be saying right now.

The Best Way to Eliminate Neediness

Without wasting much time let me introduce you to the best technique you can use to completely rid yourself of the needy-and-desperate you that sets women on their heels every time.

To erase the neediness and desperation that’s setting you back in the dating game you must adopt one important principle: LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT WOMEN.

I deduced this from a core principle of mine: To attract women you must learn to live without women.

You must be saying to yourself “WTF?” or asking yourself “What does this have to do with eliminating neediness and desperation?”

Allow me to explain.

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Women Can Smell Your Desperation

You know most guys cannot survive without that one call or text from a certain girl each day and act as if their own happiness depends on that one girl. Most guys can’t stand being single and will completely freak out or break down if they get dumped or a relationship ends.

Weak, desperate, needy, clingy, and desperate guys carry this mindset around and it’s a big reason they don’t have the success with women they really want.

Whatever is happening in your mind shows up in your behavior — WOMEN SMELL YOUR DESPERATION!

So instead of being needy, if you’re not freaking out and OK with not having a girlfriend, women will see you as laid back, cool, collected, calm, and confident and it’ll earn you cool points with the ones you want.

You must never depend on any girl for your own happiness. As such, your life must be stress-free, blissful and happy even without women. Never “need’ a girl or woman to be happy.

Take a Break From Dating Women

Honestly, life has millions of things to offer other than the female sex. Indulge in these worthwhile activities. Take a break from dating women for a while.

Read more and subsequently improve your vocabulary and knowledge.
Be informed on current political, social and economic issues.
Dedicate some of your time to your family (and trust me, you’ll never regret this!).
Go out and meet other people, both women and men from all walks of life. Never mind the age, background or culture. This will not only widen your social circle but gives you several perspectives on life that will one day prove useful.
Work on your style and fashion sense.
Take note of your body and work towards improving your health.
Find one thing you can do better than most people and make something of it.
Work on the things you are bad at.
Start a business, put everything you’ve got into it and watch it grow (you’ll love it when you start to see the dollar bills rolling in).
And in everything you do don’t be fazed by failure.
You’ll be happy with yourself and where you are in life because all your successes did not “need” a woman or a working relationship.

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Attractive to Women

You might be asking yourself “How exactly is this attractive to women?”

If you don’t want to come across to a woman as a needy and desperate guy, you must be comfortable with a life excluding that very girl you are trying to attract.

It’s simple — once you get the hang of living a dating-free life, you come across to women as a guy who is sure of himself, confident even without a working relationship, and very different from the rest.

Besides, once you are happy being single, girls will notice and wonder how come you are so sure of yourself and will naturally want a share of your happiness. If you are comfortable being single you’ll convey the message that “Baby, whether you reject me or not, I don’t care because I don’t need you to be happy”.

She will know that saying no will be her loss not yours because you don’t “need” her.

Once you get at that stage where you are perfectly happy single, it’s the women who’ll be doing the chasing.

So yeah, if you wanna be a chick magnet, remove girls from your life and start pursuing other things.

Learn to live without women.

Just don’t stay single for too long. Because there are way too many girls on this earth and life’s too short. So you’ll have to juggle dating and other activities.

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How to Target and Cash in on Dating Niches for Dating Sites

Securing success in any business begins with matching your product with the right audience. The same goes for the dating business.

Finding a unique niche requires securing a specific audience to market your dating site to. Being efficient and able to spend less money on higher quality leads is the ultimate key to success. This will enable you to know your audience better, and tailor fit your marketing strategy to reach them. This way you can set the key messages and identify the keywords of interest to your audience, but also set your campaigns with precision. Plus, you will see monetisation sooner.

Where to start?

That being said, one might start asking oneself about the possible niches to choose from, and start looking for what niches are out there. First things first, you’ll need to do a bit of research! How specific you get depends on the size of the market you’re targeting. Going global sounds OK from your perspective, but you need to consider those who are looking for matches. Are they willing to meet people who are matching their interests but are miles away?

You should always put yourself in the shoes of someone looking for a date online.

Online daters are usually people whom you are passing on the street, with all their shortcomings and amazing little worlds inside their minds and souls. Are they all looking for the same thing? Surely not, no matter what all of those romantic movies told us.

Playing safe or going all the way?

Try to set a couple of categories for your site such as love, date or a casual hookup.  Are you marketing towards sugar daddies and angel babies? What type of common interest will you bring into the focus?  Do you plan on being global, or country specific? Will you offer one or more languages?

Think about something unique to bring people into the site. Think about the current trends: it can be a great starting point. GOT fans, vampire lovers, Star Wars, or Bronies (adult fan club of My Little Pony).

Choose something close to you or something with which you are more familiar. It will make the targeting so much easier.

Just to give you an idea, we’ve tried to list some of the common or less common successful dating niches to think about:

  1. DISABLED DATING

Dating, specifically online dating, can be tricky. Dating when you have a disability can make it significantly more challenging.  Searching for an awesome date or a long-haul relationship is so much easier if one finds a great site for dating.

  1. SENIORS

It may come as a surprise, but senior singles sometimes have a more vibrant love life than teenagers. It might be a great niche to start from, but there are many sub-niches to explore.

  1. XL LOVE

Dating can be intimidating for large people, as they are often stuck on awful dates with someone who doesn’t appreciate their beauty. With an online dating service, people can avoid misunderstandings and might engage in dating with more confidence.

  1. GAMER DATING

“A place for geeks” might be a gold mine. They spend a lot of time online and are religiously devoted to their favourite games. They are typically somewhat introverted and are more open to meeting people online, rather than in the bar. Surely they are looking for a fellow soul, someone they can share their passion with or play side-by-side holding hands.

  1. RELIGION

It goes without saying – religion is a defining aspect of many people’s lives. Typically, religious people would limit their search for love only to those sharing the same beliefs. If there is a particularly popular religion in your surrounding, this might be the right niche for you.

  1. MEETING COUPLES

Not everyone is willing to settle for only one person in a hookup. Use this and give people what they need!

  1. SAME SHADE OF GREY / KINKY

Finding someone willing to play their special game might be tricky in real life. Therefore, people tend to search for such dates online. There is an endless goldmine of ideas for creating a niche dating site if you are so inclined…

  1. NUDISTS

Nudism is a big part of some people’s life. Sometimes it is so important for their identity that some of them decide to get married in nude. Help pair find like-minded souls.

  1. DOG LOVERS

One of the oldest dating tricks in the book is to get a dog and go walking in the park. It is the easiest way to get into the chitty chatty mood with a fellow dog owner, or dog lover. Why not take this idea online and make dating web page out of it?

  1. UNIFORM DATING

There is something oddly attractive about men and women in uniforms – such as a policeman, nurse, firefighter, or pilot. Additionally, people in uniforms tend to have odd working hours and they are looking for someone who can live with that and keep the relationship alive. Cash in on this niche!

  1. ASTROLOGY DEVOTEES

Many people out there can’t start their day without checking their personal horoscope. There are some people who avoid Aquarius by all means. They know their perfect sign and are more than willing to engage in dating someone born at a particular time of the year. Astrology dating might be a huge success.

Using the above list as a guide, start listing a couple of ideas that you have. Next dive into the research. What is the size of your target market? Who are your competitors, if any? Try to scale your business as much as possible so you can set your expectations. You don’t need to settle for just one if you find more prospective areas. This might increase your chances of success, and revenue as well.

Now what? How do I start earning money?

Start by choosing your preferred traffic acquisition model for media buying. Whether you decide on CPM, CPC, Flat buys, PPL, PPS, or Rev-Share – you’ll want to ensure that you stay ROI positive, no matter what business model you decide on. Also, keep in mind that if you choose a Rev-share through an online dating White Label Dating, you’ll likely be looking at a 1 to 2 year yield.

Next, decide what type of marketing activities you will be focusing on at the beginning (those you are comfortable using). Set the budget you are willing to spend and revise it regularly.

Set some KPIs for your first three months and the first year. Plan to invest time into tracking and improving. Ideally this would be done daily, but at least once a week is necessary.

Visit Dating-Sites.ws to see a range of Dating Sites and niches


 

“Just Be Yourself” Is Bad Advice and Here’s Why !!

Every day I’m emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I read hundreds of new posts in the SoSuave Discussion Forum. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all.

The basic. The advanced. The good. The bad. And the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it’s in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year old hs freshman… is JUST BE YOURSELF.

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If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it’s just the opposite. “Just Be Yourself” is the one tip I’ll never use. Not at the web site. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on – because I’m a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a number of reasons.

Be Very Careful Whose Advice You Follow

JBY is the advice you’re most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

It doesn’t matter if that person is male or female, young or old, single or married — it’s the stock relationship answer when one doesn’t know or can’t think of anything else to say… but doesn’t want to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

Ask your buddy what women want, or your mother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They’ll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it’s the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women want.

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But they have to say something, right? And besides, they’ve been hearing JBY for their entire lives. It must be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority… as if simply seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. And oh how people like to feel smug!

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you’ve been “just being yourself” your entire life and it’s pretty much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven’t even had a date in 2 years.

What about that?

At this point they’ll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — “You just have to be patient and eventually you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.”

Oh, and don’t forget, “And if it doesn’t work out between you and her, than it wasn’t meant to be.”

Be yourself – patience – faith. That’s about the extent of the advice you’re likely to receive.

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I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who’s been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months… and never gets a second date? A person who’s lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who’s obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

Rather than simply JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively create the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he’s been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

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This would be useful advice!

But then we’d run into another problem.

A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he’s always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV… because, after all, he’s the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV. He’s just being himself!

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. And it’s certainly not about pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s about becoming the person that you want to be. It’s about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It’s about feeling good, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I’ve gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now understand “the game” better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the cool information there, and how it changed their lives… their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even think the whole idea of “learning” how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn’t need “tricks and gimmicks” to do well with women.

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Those Friends of Yours

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be “friends” first, take her to the most expensive restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.

In other words, these friends don’t have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and understand what really works.

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Why are they like this? Why can’t they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can’t they understand that simply learning and implementing a few simple “tactics” could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they’re lazy!

It’s All About Self-Improvement

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. And self-improvement oftentimes involves work. Take a look at all the info here at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

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Make no mistake about it… you’re not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

Do you think that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you think he went home and said, “Oh well. I guess I’m just not much of a basketball player. But I’m sure there must be something else I can do.”?

I don’t think so. He grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.

He wanted to be great. He decided that he was going to be great. And then he made himself great!

What Do Women Do?

What about women? Do you think that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?

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You tell me…

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more attractive.

And have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women’s magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

They’re having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They’re learning the “game” and how to play it… and very, very well.

We’re busy JBYing… and they’re researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

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Is it any wonder that YOU’RE having so much trouble with women?

I think not. In fact, I think being an “idiot” is the norm for men. I think most guys are completely clueless.

And that’s why those of you smart enough to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who’ve dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. You are in the minority. And if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!!

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Do you want to become more Confident Around Women In 3 Simple Steps !!

Let’s talk about confidence.

Girls always say that they love confidence in guys.

As I was growing up, it always felt like girls would always go for the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on a girl, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything.

This makes it especially difficult because as men, we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. And this can mean having to step way, way out of your comfort zone.

How are we supposed to be confident when it comes to dating, then?

I’m not going to give you some generic advice such as “fake it until you make it” or “just be confident.” You’ve probably already heard that enough times already.

Instead, I’m going to show you the three steps that I used to finally become confident around women.

Step 1: Understand the Psychology of Confidence

The first step is to understand how the psychology of confidence works.

Simply put, confidence reflects how much faith you have in yourself that you are able to complete a task successfully. This is influenced by your experience as well as the amount of risk involved, and it’s an evolutionary survival tool designed for keeping you out of trouble.

Imagine that you’re in the jungle with a friend and your companion decides that he’s going to fight a lion with his bare hands. You, on the other hand, don’t feel confident about the idea of doing so. One of you is going to be okay and the other… probably not so much.

In order to improve your confidence, you need to build the relevant skills and experience that allow you to have more faith in yourself around what you are trying to accomplish.

Think about the first time that you drove a car. Do you remember how you felt when you first pressed that gas pedal? How you felt when you pulled out into traffic the first time? And how you felt when you drove onto the highway for the first time?

You probably felt a little nervous or unsure of yourself. After all, you had no experience other than studying the textbook in drivers’ ed class. How do you feel when you drive a car today?

By now, you’ve been driving for hundreds and hundreds of hours. You have a lot more experience and a lot of it just feels like second nature to you. Because of this, you have a lot more faith in your driving abilities today which makes you much more confident than when you were first starting out.

Let’s apply this to dating.

Confidence around dating involves gaining the skills and experiences that allow you to have more faith in yourself around women. One of the most powerful ways for you to approach this is to adopt a growth mindset.

Someone who has a growth mindset knows that their skills and abilities can always be improved. They believe that they have the power to improve themselves and they see failure as opportunities for improvement rather than becoming discouraged by it.

The opposite is a fixed mindset. Someone with a fixed mindset believes that their skills and abilities can’t be changed. They might say things like “I just don’t have what takes” or “I’ll never be as good as he is” or “I’m just not good at this.” Each of these sentences implies some sort of helplessness.

It might take some time to switch from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, especially if you’ve been following it since you were young. By learning to recognize these types of thoughts as they pop up and then realize that they aren’t true, you’ll slowly be able to adopt the new mindset.

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Step 2: Give Out Drive-By Compliments

The next step is to build up your courage by doing some drive-by compliments. To do this, you give someone a genuine compliment and then vanish.

Here are some examples:

Nice shirt/shoes/pants/jacket!
Your hair is awesome!
You are a beautiful woman!
Looking good!
Your dog is so cute!
This sounds deceptively simple and yet is really awesome.

First and foremost, you cannot possibly be shot down by the people that you approach. Since you are not asking for anything, you risk no social rejection. And you will long be on your merry way before it can ever become awkward.

In addition, you probably made the day of everyone that you complimented. Think about it, the person you just talked to might have been having a really rough day. Suddenly, you step out of the shadows and brighten their mood with a compliment before disappearing into the night again. You’re now the mysterious stranger who went out of his way to make someone else’s day better.

Like Batman. Seriously! (Bonus points if you actually do this dressed as Batman.)

Now, the first few times you do this may feel daunting. That’s perfectly okay! When I first started giving out drive-by compliments, I was absolutely terrified. I tried to say “Looking good” to a jogger as she ran past me but I was so nervous that my voice squeaked as if I had just taken a huge breath of helium. Yikes!

After I did this a few times, my fear of approaching people started to melt away. It quickly became much easier to go up to strangers and interact with them. And seeing the smiles on the faces of everyone you talk to really makes it worth it!

Giving out drive-by compliments might feel scary at first, but it will become so much easier after the first few times. After you do this, your fear of approaching other people — including any girls that you may have your eyes on — will start to melt away.

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Step 3: Start Random Conversations With Strangers

Finally, we’re going to begin some random conversations with strangers.

This is a little more daunting than drive by compliments. Here, you can get rejected. You can get shot down. And it is possible to make it totally awkward.

That’s okay. Remember that we’re using a growth mindset. If you’re playing a video game and you lose a life, do you turn the game off and never play it again? Of course not! You dust yourself off, learn what didn’t work so well, and try again! It’s the same thing here.

If you try to start a conversation with someone and it ends up becoming awkward, that’s okay. Don’t get down on yourself, and instead try to understand why it didn’t go so well. Did you say something that killed the conversation? Did you try to make a joke or tell a story that didn’t quite hit the mark? Maybe it wasn’t anything you did and the other person just didn’t feel like talking.

My recommendation is to start small. Instead of starting off by trying to chat up Megan Fox or Scarlet Johansson, set the bar a little lower and just try talking to the cashier the next time you go grocery shopping. Ask her how her day is. Maybe she’ll engage you. Or maybe not, which is also completely fine.

After that, I suggest stepping it up a little bit. The next time you are waiting in line at the coffee shop, turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself.

Another conversation starter you can try is to compliment someone and then ask them a related question instead of disappearing. So, you could say something like “Nice shirt!” and then follow up with “Is it new?” or “Where did you buy it?” Another example is to say “Your dog is so cute!” and then follow up with “What’s his name?” or “What kind of dog is he?”

In my experience, talking about weather kills conversations. It’s cliché and impersonal to try to have a conversation about the weather.

On the other hand, asking people questions about themselves often gives me good results. Everyone has an ego. If you can tap into someone else’s ego by asking them about themselves and then showing that you’re interested in what they have to say, they’ll probably talk your ear off.

Get out there and try making random conversations with strangers. You’ll get some practice talking to people and you’ll become skilled at making a conversation flow and keeping it engaging.

Being Confident Around Women

Did going through these three exercises really help me become more confident?

A little while ago, I was in the coffee shop and I happened to run into this stunningly gorgeous woman. The old Steve would have sat there paralyzed, unable to go up and talk to her. But this time was different.

This time I didn’t worry about being rejected or getting embarrassed. I didn’t feel a crippling fear holding me back or hear that voice in my head telling me that she’ll probably just turn me down.

And you know what the best part was?

For the first time, I was able to relax and just have FUN talking to a girl I liked.

Once you perfect the art of going up to random people and starting conversations, you’re going to build up a lot of faith in yourself. This will make you more confident. Naturally confident.

And you won’t ever have to fake it.

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First Impressions Count, so dress up and show up— Dressing Well and Accessorising

The saying goes — you should always leave the house dressed as if you’re about to meet the woman of your dreams.

I am sure many of you who read the blog and are becoming better and better at interacting with women are also looking to better yourselves in other supporting factors which help to achieve this goal of being better with women, such as, fashion.

First impressions matter, and they matter a lot — making a good one will definitely help you in scoring the date in the first place.

This is not to say that you need to be dressed according to what people define as “stylish”, if you don’t feel confident in what you’re wearing then that will be counter-intuitive. But on the flip side, many of us men never ventured out of our comfort zone revolving around loose pants and large-fitting T-shirts, perhaps a hoodie if it’s one of the chillier months.

So like the article just be yourself is bad advice, in the case of being a newcomer to the world of dressing well, you should definitely not be yourself — as your style matures and you begin to feel out what clothes and shoes and watches etc. suit you and your personality best this of course will become “be yourself”.

well dressed man

BUT, until then we are here to offer advice on how to accessorize — should you be interested in delving into accessories.

As the name suggests ‘accessories’ are just that, you definitely do not NEED them, and you can get away without wearing anything extra just fine.

However, accessories do have the power to make a somewhat boring outfit interesting, to reflect your personality, to be interesting conversation starters and to simply make you feel more confident “look good feel good” as cliché as it sounds definitely applies to being well dressed.

First of all, when it comes to accessories for men, the most common ones are as follows:

Watches
Wallets
Wedding bands
Glasses
Sunglasses
Rings
Earrings
Bracelets
Necklaces
(Bow) Ties
Tie clips
Pocket squares
Cufflinks

Out of these the last 4 can be considered formal wear and you won’t encounter them in casual every-day situations.

The rest range from ‘green’ which are widely accepted and worn by the majority of men, to ‘red’ which are items men are warier of delving into.

Each accessory definitely plays into how a woman might form her first impression of you — do you wear a digital watch or a diver? Do you have a Velcro wallet or a leather wallet… what color is it (how thick is it? To play of the age-old joke)?

Now if you’re wearing a wedding band that will probably be the strongest statement piece — and hopefully you’re reading this to keep the spark of romance alive between you and the missus, otherwise it might be worth looking into a good lawyer.

Kidding aside though everything about you will pepper the first impression of not just women you’re interested in, but the people you encounter on a day-to-day basis.

For those of you who are still rocking the Velcro wallet, or an old digital watch you got from the dollar store and really have no idea where to begin — a safe rule to follow is:

Black leather wallet
– Black goes with everything, including fancy dress

Simple minimal watch (such as a Timex weekender)
– Again, goes with everything

(if you wear glasses) a nice face complementing frame

You do not need anything besides those — for now just get used to the feeling of the new items.

For those of you who are past the basics and are looking to add a little more spark to your daily outfits, the best course of action would be a bracelet.

Bracelets, so long as they are not too over-the-top are pieces which can be interesting without being overly polarizing.

A bracelet on a man must look like it has been with him across many adventures, it must be a part of you which you’re so used to you don’t even notice — so when you get yourself a bracelet, the best course of action is to commit to it for a few weeks, and you’ll be wearing it with the same confidence you wear any other part of your body (which I hope is a lot of confidence).

Some simple rules to follow with bracelets:

Metal bracelets should not be stacked.
Rope, bead, natural material bracelets may be stacked if they are thin.
Thin natural bracelets can be worn on the same wrist as a watch.
One wrist only, adorning both wrists with bracelets might look tacky.
bracelet

An understated set of bracelets can look quite appealing.

Rope and leather bracelets are an excellent choice for something which you can wear with anything, and have an adventurous masculine look to them — this is also an excellent impression to leave on women.

Bracelets are subtle, yet display your careful thought into making your outfit stand out from the crowd, this shows attention to detail and is yet again, a positive impression.

A woman does not want to feel like she is going to be dating just another average cookie-cutter guy, and accessorizing is your foot in the door which allows you to state “I am my own man”.

Needless to say, if you have actually worn your bracelet (or any accessory) for a long time, it can be a helpful trigger for good stories you associate wearing it, and can help conversation flow on a first date.

I don’t want to sound like I am over-hyping the benefits of accessorizing and dressing well, but if you haven’t tried doing so yet, it might just be the key to having additional success in your dating life.

I wish you all good fortune, and hope I have inspired at least some to give accessorizing and changing the way they dress a try.

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Why are woman not attracted to nice guys … find the truth here !!

You finally, for once in your life try being cocky and funny with a girl — and she eats it up — and then you ask if you should do it again?

Here are a couple of great formulas for you to remember:

Cold Feet = Cold Other Things Below The Waist
The Usual Nice Guy Routine = See Formula #1
Let’s talk about these ideas.

He’s Nice

If you ever hear a woman say the words “He’s nice” you can pull out all the money you have on you and bet that she’s not ATTRACTED to the guy she’s talking about.

Women don’t use the word “Nice” to describe men that they’re FEELING it for.

So why would you want to use the “usual nice guy routine”? What, you want to make SURE she never feels anything other than friendship for you?

Hmmmmm.

What you’re telling me here is that you knew this super-babe four years ago, but the “nice guy” rap didn’t make anything happen then… so you’re thinking that if you pour it on twice as thick it might work better this time?

Hmmmmm.

Do Something Different

Here’s a good rule of thumb:

If your behavior isn’t getting you the consistent results that you’d like to get, CHANGE IT.

Do ANYTHING different.

I’m serious here.

If what you’re doing isn’t working, DO SOMETHING ELSE IMMEDIATELY!

And if you’ve FOUND SOMETHING that works, then KEEP DOING IT!

(Hint: In case you haven’t figured it out, I think you should ix-nay the ice-nay uy-gay outine-ray.)

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the words “nice guy” translate into “ICE-NAY UY-GAY” in Pig Latin.

Read that again, because it was pretty funny.

In summary, I think you might want to stick with the cocky+funny personality. It’s working for more than a few guys out there, and it can work for you (as you’ve seen).

Be Nice — But Don’t Be a Nice Guy

On a side topic…

From the way I talk, you might start to get the idea that I’m against being nice to women.

Quite the contrary.

I think that it’s great to be nice to women.

Just do it in a way that doesn’t make them think of you as a “nice guy.”

Oh, that sounds interesting.

So the question is:

How can I be nice without making her see me as a super-wussy who would pay a hundred dollars just to have one quick dig through her dresser?

I just figured out how to say this in a simple, concise way… so listen up:

Be cocky and funny, and bust her balls with your words, but be nice to her with your behavior!

Wow, that was cool. Nice and simple.

So here are…

A Few Examples

1) Tell her that she walks slower than your mom, then open all doors for her.

2) Tell her that she’s too uptight and she needs to settle down because it’s annoying, then rub her shoulders.

3) Give her a hard time about her driving, then kiss her.

Are you with me?

One of the concepts that I talk about in my book Double Your Dating is ALWAYS SEND MIXED MESSAGES.

Why would you want to send mixed messages?

Because it’s interesting.

Double Your Dating

Because if it’s done right, it’s attractive.

Because attractive women are fascinated by it when it’s mixed with a cocky/funny personality.

I hope that those reasons work for you.

Attractive Women Are Looking for Something Different

Attractive women are sooooo over guys who kiss up to them, buy them things, take them out, and act “nice”.

Attractive women are looking for something different.

A challenge. A spark. Sassy, cheeky, mouthy, ballsy, witty, charming. An unpredictable, funny guy like yourself to take her attention, and run with it.

Now, how unpredictable is “nice”?

How much of a challenge is “nice”?

How much of a spark is in “nice”?

Exactly. Not much.

So, in summary: Be nice… but do it on your own terms. And mix nice BEHAVIOR with COCKY AND FUNNY COMMUNICATION.

This magical combination with keep her interest for as long as you’d like to have it.

Remember This

Attractive women are different. They know that they can have anything they want. SO DON’T GIVE IT TO THEM… and they’ll love you.

Does this sound “counter-intuitive” to you?

Good. It is. And it works like gangbusters.

Remember this:

You need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women, and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.

Now, where does this all begin?

It begins with YOU.

And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you needing to understand the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other. It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

And what’s the best way to get this “in depth” education?

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